Thursday, February 17, 2011

" An Unnerving Day "

Actually I think it started on Sunday. I've always had trouble sleeping the week before the full moon. After many years of this, I don't need to look at the calender to know when the moon is going to be in it's full glory.

It's sort of funny when I think about the conversation dance that my husband and I have during this week. He's usually always gone. He lives in his truck all but four days of the month. He does this not only to pay the never ending bills in our lives but also because he loves me.

My husband keeps a calender on his dashboard. I rarely look at a calender. He marks off the days. He knows when the moon is going to be full. 
As with many long time married couples, the usual "How did you sleep last night?" question is always asked out of love and concern. On the days when my answer is "I tossed and turned and hardly slept at all." he is always quite. And by his silence at my answer, I know that the full moon is upon us.

This week of sleeplessness used to drive me crazy. As I have aged I have learned that it is best not to fight it. Even though it affects my brain and my body, I know that it is just a temporary state. And once the moon turns completely full, I know that I will once again get some productive sleep. Can sleep be productive? I think it can.

This week proved to be worse than usual as I have had the most horrible dreams. Dreams that you can feel in your heart and soul. Dreams that make you wake up sweating and praying to God to please let it be just a dream. Or rather nightmare.
I made it through the sleeplessness and nightmares so far. But today, today was just unnerving to me. I don't usually scare. I don't usually panic. I have always been the sort of person to say "Alright, this isn't right so lets figure out what to do next." .

When I woke this morning again from a horrible nightmare, I thought "Alright, tomorrow is the full moon. You'll sleep good again and things will be as they should.".
Hanging on hard to this thought I walked my dogs at 5:30 a.m.
It was calm outside. Not as dark as it has been. The suns rays were just peeking over the horizon. I could smell skunk. Strange but also welcome as we have a neighborhood skunk that hangs around in the summer. This was the first time this year that the said skunk had made him or herself noticeable. I took that as a sure sign of spring approaching. It sounds like everything was fine yet I had a chill that ran up my spine and it wasn't from the temperature as it was very warm for 5:30 a.m.

Later this same morning as I was leaving for work I noticed that the wind had really kicked up. I watched the weather earlier and knew that it was supposed to be very windy and warm. Springlike.

While I was cleaning the house that I clean weekly, I kept hearing odd sounds. Sounds in a house that I have been cleaning for at least five years, that I had never heard before. At one point I started to feel very strange. I felt that something was wrong. I felt it deep in my gut. Yet the work and the house went along as usual. Nothing happened.

When I got home later this morning, before noon, I walked the dogs again and felt the same weird feeling. The wind was blowing our old wooden fence, what was left of it after most of it being blown over from a straight line wind storm a few years earlier. It was creaking and moving back and forth with the wind.


I walked the dogs hurriedly. I thought that the unnerving feeling would leave my body once inside my home. Close the door. Shut it out. But I was wrong. 

This house is 64 years old. It has settled quite a bit. It feels solid. Yet today I kept hearing noises. Not just from this house but from outside. Voices of neighbors, sirens. Lots of sirens. Much louder than what they usually sound like when inside this house.

I tried to take a nap but again, sleep wouldn't come. The dogs were restless. They wouldn't lay with me. They barked. They sat a bit and barked some more. I gave up on the much needed nap.


When it was time to walk the dogs again, mostly because they seemed unnerved themselves, we found Wendy's wrapper papers, Wal-Mart bags and Styrofoam sandwich boxes that had blown all over the driveway and yard. And still I can't explain the odd feeling that had been enveloping me since this morning or since the beginning of the week.

For now all seems to be quite. For this I am grateful. It is 10:00 p.m. Past my bedtime. And just now as I am typing this I am hearing an odd noise outside again. One that I have never heard here before.

I really need some sleep. Good sleep. Innocent baby sleep. 
The strange noise just stopped. 

I don't want to have those horrible nightmares again. I want my house to be quite. I want the neighbors to be quite. I just want some good sleep. I wish that my husband were home. He would make me laugh or make me mad. That would be a good distraction from this really weird and unnerving day that I still don't understand and can't explain except for lack of sleep.

Goodnight and SLEEP TIGHT!


Lois Evensen said...

Goodness, Diana, that can be so creepy, can't it, when you feel something strange, but can't figure out what is causing it? I hope you get a good night's sleep tonight and wake rested and happy.

Good night hugs,

Bernie said...

When I am feeling restless and tense I light a candle and say a prayer and the calm just appears. I do hope you sleep well tonight my friend......:-)Hugs

Rebecca said...

I never THOUGHT about checking the phase of the moon! LAST Saturday night and Sunday were my crappy days (and nights)....

The wind is doing strange things here, too. I have a couple of wind chimes that may have to go!

Hope things settle down in and around you. I have no tips :)

editor said...

Hi Diana, getting a good night's sleep is important for our bodies and our minds. Find out your triggers. Everyone has a different trigger (or triggers) that may excite them and cause them not to sleep.

Anvilcloud said...

How weird about the full moon and sleeping. I think certain dreams can really affect our moods, but I find it strange that your mood lasted so long.

Now forgive me for having a stupid moment, but i have to ask how your husband sleeping in his truck shows his love for you. I understand the bills part but not so much the love part. I know, I'm dense.

Erik's RV Blog said...

I went outside to drive to the trainstation this morning and saw one of the biggest full moons setting in the West I have ever seen. Made me wish I had my telescope out, or that I still had a telescope!

I too have had some very strange dreams lately but I can only remember that they were either good or bad, and maybe a detail or two but never the whole dream.

Anyway, I hope you slept well last night and have a great restful weekend!


Gail said...

Oh my, this is so eerie and so scary for you. I feel your feelings intently and I also understand. I believe that you are so very intuitive and that something is brewing. Try and breathe and be open to it so you can get a foothold and be empowered. Easier said than done, I know. ALso, about dreams/nightmares. WHen you have a bad dream/nightmare you cna change the ending. Close your eyes and go in to a kind of day dream state and change the end of the dream/nightmare to your liking. It really works to mae you feel better the rest of the day. Hope this helps.
Love to you
peace.....and ;sweet' dreams :-)

Ronda said...

Hi Diana, I hope you managed to get some sleep last night. How scary for you. I've had awful nightmares myself and so real that I didn't know if I was actually dreaming. I pray that it gets better for you.

quieten said...

Hi Diana,
Hope you got some much deserved rest last night. What a disconcerting time for you. I hate when things are "off" lie that. Definitely going to start keeping track of the moon phases. It would definitely make sense for some of the things that happen in and around my life! Hope all is better today.

Barb said...

If the moon can control tides, it can control the ebbing and flowing in our bodies, too. I only hope all your premonitions of disaster didn't come to pass. Sleep well tonight, Di - the moon will give you some slack.

Rae said...

I hate having those unnerving feelings. I don't notice them with the full moon though. After tonight the full moon will start its decline. I hope you get some much needed rest.

tattytiara said...

I have my sleeplessness patterns, but thankfully no bad dreams. That really is insult to injury. I do hope you get some deep, peaceful, even blissful rest soon!

Margaret Pangert said...

Hi Diana~
Never more than today have I read an article of yours that made me want to scream, "Diana! You're a writer! A real writer! Let's have a novel by summer!" I always enjoy your writing, but this one is special: an underlying tension that makes me want more... What has the full moon brought? What is that feeling in your gut? Why the sirens and agitated dogs?
Can't wait for more! ♥

Lynilu said...

When I'm tired, everything seems much more weird, out of sync, and I'm more jumpy. I'd guess it is something similar. Whatever it is, I hope you are back on the earthly plane quickly. It just stinks to feel like that. When you go to bed tonight, imagine all of us there with you, giving you hugs and shooing away the sleepus interuptus! Love winging your way, dear friend. :)

PS - the word verification is "hotscram"!! Tell those problems to hotscram outta here!!!

Brenda said...

Oh dear, oh dear.

Please remember to call on the name of "Jesus." I used to go to bed every night calling on Jesus and reminding myself that because of Jesus, "I do not have a spirit of fear but of love and power and of a sound mind."

I do hope for relief for you and prayed for you tonight.

Arlee Bird said...

That was a rather frightful story. I hope sleep starts coming better. Your feelings seem to be sensing something ominous. May peace and the beauty of coming spring lift the bad dreams and sleeplessness from you.

Tossing It Out and the Blogging From A to Z April Challenge 2011

Wanda..... said...

When reading your post yesterday, I felt like I had opened a novel, actually left here speechless, Di. Being short on time, due to an appointment I didn't comment, but thought of you last night while viewing the moon, hope your sleep was better and today you find calm relief.

Graceful Moments said...

I've had strange days like that with apparently no good reason. I don't have the problem that you do with the days before the full moon but I do often have unsettling nightmares and sometimes the strangeness of the dreams lingers throughout the day.
It must be difficult having your husband away so much but you seem to handle it amazingly well.
I hope that you got the much needed sleep!
Enjoyed your last post with all of the crocheted items. I have some doilies, tablecloths and an unfinished bedspread that my grandmother made. I also have purses that she made during the 50s and 60s that are like new. I crochet but never with the small hooks because I'm too impatient and because I can't see well enough to get the hook through the little loops. Thanks for sharing all your lovely items with us!!! Love, Vicki

naida said...

wow, I hope you had a good nites sleep.
Sleeplessness and nightmares are never fun.

Stretch Marks said...

You app people are very much affected with the moon. And you keep on concentrating on the effects of the moon. With the help of the moon and we do not need to keep the calendar on the dashboard.