Thursday, August 19, 2010

" The Funniest Lunch I've Ever Heard !"

If you've been following along this week, you already know that Kate and her friend have been coming home for lunch everyday this week from school.

This year Kate and her friend are Sophomores in High School. At their school this means that they are allowed to go off campus at lunch time. 

And while Kate and her friend have the option to eat at school, well lets just say , that's not cool. You get it right? I remember what it was like to not be cool and so do you, at least I hope you do!

The truth is that we and Kate's friend can't afford to eat lunch out everyday. And honestly if we could, she wouldn't. It's not healthy and a waste of money.

Today I came across some cash. Don't worry, it was honest cash. I cleaned for it. I had promised Kate that I would give her money to go and eat out, this very first time in her whole entire High School career to date ! 

The problem came into play when we remembered that they have early outs every Thursday. Neither Kate nor I knew what time her "Early" lunch would be. So since I usually clean on Thursday and finish around 11:30, we were both a bit worried. 

Would I be able to finish early, me being the OCD house cleaner of the year?  What would they eat if I didn't finish in time? The cupboard is bare, unless "I" cook that is.

So the plan was that Kate would text me when she knew what time they would get out for lunch. I would hopefully be done cleaning by then and have time to run to the bank to cash my check. 

I was going to meet Kate and her friend and give them cash so that they could enjoy their very first, OFF CAMPUS, lunch.

In the four years that I have been cleaning for this family that I truly love, I have never, ever, gotten done this quickly. And I didn't miss a beat. I even washed the cabinets in the kitchen with Murphy's oil soap and polished them to a fine clean shine!

O.K. so now You've got the picture, don't you? I am sweaty, sore, really sore and tired. I am racing across town to cash my check as I call Katie to ask "Where and what time do you want me to meet you?".

I did it damn it, I cleaned that house to a perfect shine with my knee giving out, in less than three hours! I was going to make my Katie love me. 

Oh for crying out loud, I know she love's me! Please keep up, she is a fifteen year old girl!!!!

Her answer to my question, my call, my pain, my huge sacrifice was...

" We're not going out, it will take too much time. We are coming home."

Say what? W.T.F.? I am just thinking this now people, I'm not saying this to her. What do I do? The cupboard is bare. I have about 20 minutes to come up with something not to mention my knee is on it's last leg (No pun intended!).

So I drive like a mad woman. I mean really folks, I decided that I owned the town in order to get home and cook for my girls damn it!!!!

I risked life, limb ( Literally, LIMB.) to get home and whip something up. 

Now you might be thinking that I am a super mom or just crazy. Either way, you are right. 

When I arrived home, I peed, turned on the hot water, took my bra off, and got down to business. There was a box of generic mac and cheese in the pantry. I still had enough milk and butter, yea! And I still had some good smoked ham in the fridge!

I got that water boiling on my trusty gas stove sooner than you can say "I want pizza". Heated up that ham in the microwave and before you know it, boom, bam, zam, "Mac and Cheese with smoked ham"!

Now here's the funny part. The girls stand at the kitchen counter to eat. They don't sit down. I have tried to get them to sit in the dining room but that takes too much time away from socialization, so they stand, scarf, and leave. You with me so far?

So I have had their plates set on the counter, napkins with forks and drinks waiting. They must serve the food themselves as they don't want to see me!

Everything was ready, the food was warm and I even left a Hershey Kiss next to their plates.

This is when I go into the living room to Finally, FINALLY, put my feet up and call my husband. So my sweet man and I are having our usual conversation, when the dogs start barking. The girls are home for lunch.

They don't sat hello. They don't say hi. They don't say anything. 

I hear the pot being scraped.

As I am quietly having a husband wife conversation, what do I hear?

Forks. Forks scraping. Folks hitting correlle. Clink, clink, clink. Clank, clink, clink clank. Clank, clank, click... click, click clank, scrap. 

Clink. clink. Clank, clink, scrap, clink, clank,clink,clink.. clink.... clank...

If I knew Morris code, I swear that there was a story there.

Oh I know what they were thinking.

"Lets eat as fast as we can and get the hell out of here!"!

Was it worth the pain that I inflicted on myself? 

Your are damn right it was.

Do I know why?

Yes, someday I hope that they will appreciate me.

Was it worth it?

Well let me put it this way. Kate actually apologized for snapping at me today. That in it self is a major accomplishment to me.

And she has been actually been waiting on me tonight! Hot Damn!!!!!!

Perhaps there is hope after all. 

This story was told by the mom of a teenage daughter. 

Any resemblance to your own past or present teenage daughter is your own problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Lynilu said...

LOL! OH, gracious!

I was/am blessed with a daughter that was easy-peasy to raise, please, and live with. Oh, of course, she had some moments, but they were rare with me. Her relationship with my hub was not always so good, and mine with his girls was sometimes rocky. So I hear what you say. But I'm glad to hear she is beginning to come out of the "horribles." It won't be all at once, but it will come around more and more! Relax and look forward to it!!

Cinner said...

lol. Diana, you are so funny. Your last line had me in stitches, take it easy, there is always just kraft dinner. lol. kidding. just relax, put your feet up. loved this post today. big hug.

Bill ~ {The Old Fart} said...

Call you Wonder Woman Di, You are truly a Great Mum. In years to come Katie will appreciate what you do for her.

A Wonderful Weekend is wished for you.

Anvilcloud said...

As you could probably tell form my previous comment, I am not exactly onboard with you slaving over lunch like this. But I am relating it to our past family dynamics and don't know yours. So, I trust that you can keep seeing the humor in it all. Meanwhile, have a good weekend and week while I skeedaddle.

Bernie said...

Oh Di you work far too hard but it is important to you to do what you do so you should do it. I am sure Katie could make her own lunch as well as her friend but you must make them feel welcome and safe as they would rather be there than any place else. Please take care of yourself sweetie, your limbs will not thank you even as much as Katie does. Love and support you always....Hugs

Rebecca said...

Dear Di,

You deserve a Medal for your Meal Magic! Suggestion: Maybe next Wednesday evening Katey could make lunch for Thursday -- and she could make enough for YOU, too!

My knees hurt just thinking about yours. Hope you're taking the "next step" to get that fixed!


All Dolled Up Doll Clothes said...

What a MOM! Katie is so lucky to have you as her mom.

Hugs to you

Maria said...

Diana... this belongs in a collection of the best of ERMA BOMBECK STORIES!
Do you remember Erma!?!
This is classic Erma... I LOVE her books... and her most of her columns...
You are making Erma smile in heaven...

Do you have any of her books?

God bless you... you have another jewel for your crown in heaven my dear!

Brenda said...

Does Katie ever read your posts? It might be good to actually have it up on the computer--if you can manage--just when you see her heading that direction. You are a good mama. Someday this daughter is going to see how you have cared for her sacrificially but don't hold your breath. It will probably be awhile yet.

Simone said...

Hello Diana,
I just stopped by and found myself shaking my head in wonder. My daughter is not a teenager anymore, but I still find myself 'knocking myself out' to feel loved and accepted by her too.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I feel 'totally used', but keep on doing nice things, that she takes for granted.

I think I do it, because I feel guilty...what is your reason? Hope your knee feels better soon.


Ginnie said...

I'm exhausted just reading about your luncheon...I can't imagine how you did it.

Barb said...

Di, I am putting up your name for Mom Chef of the Year! You deserve a medal - or at least a hug.

Graceful Moments said...

Whew! What a day! Bless your heart is all I can say. I'm not sure I would be as gracious about it all as you are. I am sure that one day she will appreciate all the things that you do for her...when she's in the 25-30 range. You have already earned your angel wings as far as I'm concerned!
Love you. Vicki♥

Tranquility Speaks said...

Oh dear! You sure are a superwoman Diana! And the lunch you made sounds so delicious to me and I can actually get the great aroma too!

I think you might want to sit down with Kate one day and explain to her your situation. Or maybe ask her to read this post.

I have no clue but teenagers never seem to be appreciative, all that love for parents only comes when you're a little older. Don't ask me why! I'm asking myself the same thing!