Only 14 days left until my Bilateral Knee Replacement Surgery.
And anxiety started to settle in today. I am still looking forward to the surgery. Actually what I am really looking forward to is my future without constant pain and being able to walk normally again.
Yet I am starting to feel restless. I don't have anyone to talk to about it except for my husband and I don't want to keep repeating myself to him, so here I am.
I have talked to my children about it but it doesn't seem to help. I think that they are all too young to understand what this means to me and if they have any fears, they haven't expressed them to me.
So far things are falling into place nicely. I even got a much appreciated call from the Orthopedic Center today letting me know how much we will most likely be responsible for financially.
It was much less than we expected it to be and it may even be less than what they quoted after it's all said and done. Good news!
My oldest daughter purchased a raised commode, one in which can also be used bedside if need be, a shower stool for the bath tub and a book about knee replacement surgery for me. She is very thoughtful.
I will also need a walker but as I understand, the insurance company should pay for that.
My husband will be home on the 12th at which time we will rearrange the downstairs bedroom for me. He also wants to bring the twin bed downstairs into the living room to sleep in so that he can be on the same floor with me in case I may need him.
Katie's first day of school is the day of my surgery so I don't think that I'll be able to comprehend how her first day went! I hope that she doesn't worry about me and can just enjoy her first day back, although she say's she is not looking forward to going back this year.
Katie is away at camp this week. Her last week of camp for the year and she has really enjoyed being a counselor. She has even mentioned possible Missionary work some day.
Today I cried. I cried a lot. I was thinking of my mother and wishing she were here. It's funny how we miss our folks even when we are supposed to be all grown up and strong because of what they've taught us. Still I missed her today.
I dried my tears and went thrift shopping. Always, always a good "Pick-me-Up" for me! And I hit pay dirt today. I found lots more scrap fabric, a cute little backpack that I fell in love with and will make into a purse. Also a beautiful black velvet make-up bag with embroidered flowers on the front. I think that will go to the hospital with me. I also found two beautiful scarfs with I may give to my oldest daughter, she loves scarfs, or I may make something special with them. We shall see.
Tomorrow I will pick Katie up from camp to take her for registration. She will be a Junior this year. Where does time go? Maybe she will stay home with mom forever. Somehow I doubt it.
I am feeling much better now. I just got off of the phone with one of my best friends. I needed that talk. Thanks Jackie, you are a wonder!
I'm sorry if I seemed to babble too much tonight but that's what anxiety can do. Just please bare with me. This is a major, major surgery and although I am still very excited about it, there still is a certain amount of the unknown that can make one a bit nervous.
So I will leave you on a good note. I feel good, I am looking forward to a very physical and fun future. And I am so happy that you cared enough to read through this today!!!
Thank you and God Bless!!