Or so I thought. In actuality once you become a parent you can never be alone again. I'm sure there are many people that have produced children and for whatever reason were able to detach themselves from parenthood. I am not their judge. But I am my childrens' parent. This by no means makes me superior, just tired. This paragraph is my disclaimer.
Tonight I had the rare opportunity for an evening alone. A little background. I have been a mom for almost thirty-one years. I went from my parents home to my first husbands as I am sure many other women of my generation have done as well. I know I am not alone in this. There have been times in the past thirty-one years that I have been alone all night, but until recently it was only for hospital stays which don't count.Ask any mom if you don't believe me. My first actual experience with being alone was two years ago when my second husband took my twelve year old daughter with him to work. My husband is a truck driver so I had a whole week to myself. He was happy because he was going to have company and she was happy to be able to see some of the country. I was happy yet a little scared to be alone. What would I do? Then all of a sudden a voice said to me " Don't be stupid,Your going to do whatever you want,whenever you want,wherever you want and your going to like it!" So I did. I spent the entire week watching movies, eating and sleeping whenever I felt like it. And it was wonderful. Oh sure I had a couple of moments when I started to feel lonely but I dismissed them as quickly as they came and went back to enjoying not having a time schedule to adhere to. Something totally foreign to me since the day I first gave birth. It was a week I could truly enjoy because I knew my daughter was safe with her dad.
Tonight my girl went to spend the night at her friends house. Or so I thought. I dropped her off.She has spent the night there before.I went to the video store and rented two movies. You know the kind of movies your husband wouldn't want to watch with you because there might be tears involved? So here I am watching"The Women" thinking, just as it's about to end, that it's about time to go lay in bed , stretch out and relax. The phone rings. It's my daughter. She is at a church youth group. Which I knew about. And here's the dialog. "mom after we eat out we want to spend the night at church o.k." On my end there is silence as my brain is trying to sort out what the heck she is talking about. "I thought you two weren't going to eat out because neither of you had any money?" Which I would have given her had she told me before we got to their house and I could have stopped at the bank. "Beckys mom gave us money." I say "Where are you going to eat out at?" She says "We are going to eat at church." My brain says why do they need money to eat at church and why would she say they were going to eat out? So I shift to another question."Is the sleepover going to be a lock in? Who is in charge? Where exactly is the church located? You know what, I think I'll just come and pick you up." Can't they just stick to the plan? Her reply was "Never mind we'll just spend the night at Beckys house." We have kept in contact since the call and I could hear that she is having a good time. I did explain in a text that who, what, where and when is not to much to ask and any good parent would need to know. And the teenage life begins again. This will be my third time going through it and yes parents have to suffer through it too. They say the third times a charm. God I hope they're right. I am getting so tired. I hope she shows me some mercy!
So as I am waiting for her call to let me know they are back at her friends house safely, I remember. When you are a parent you never really have a night alone.