Thursday, September 10, 2009

" Still Having Bad Thoughts !"

O.K. here I sit with my feet up trying to be good. What is that saying that my husband keeps telling me ? Oh yeah , he says's to me , " Just remember , all of the trouble in the world was started by someone who couldn't sit still. "

Now I know he is directing this comment to me as I have much difficulty sitting still . But I can't help it , I just get ant's in my pants . I don't like wasting time . I can enjoy being lazy just as much as the next guy or gal . Just n
ot until my house is clean .

I don't see whats wrong with that . In my mind if there is work to be done than you do it. No excuses . And I just cannot sit there when there is a sink full of dishes that need to be done . I can relax when the work is done.

My husband says that I have O.C.D. I think he's wrong . I think that I just am not lazy.
So here I sit , not by choice mind you , and my mind is wandering again . My recliner in which I am sitting right now , is located next to my living room window . This is good , as I like to be nosy. I mean I like to w
atch the birds fly by !

And once again I am seeing the Drivers Education cars drive by. The following picture shows the close proximity to which they are to my house.





The other car parked in front of my house belongs to my lovely daughter-in-law Amy.
I ran out of coffee creamer and she was kind enough to drop some off for me .
She thought me crazy as I snapped the photo of the Drivers Education car as it drove by!

So picture this if you will . I am standing at the curb with m
y Halloween bandanna on my head , my old flannel blue and green plaid robe , wearing of coarse, my black comfy fuzzy slippers. I have a mug of coffee , no a beer in my hand .
And cigarette hanging out of my mouth .

I know your thoughts on smoking but the cigarette is critical to the scenario! On my lips I will be wearing a very bright red lipstick tinged with a purple undertone. You can clearly see that I had trouble staying in the lines , perhaps because of the three previous beers .


As I am standing at the street curb , swaying ever so slightly , I am also squinting at every Drivers Education car that passes by. I know that my Katie will be in one of them.

I am also looking quite distraught you see , as my Katie didn't give mommy a kiss goodbye this morning.

O.K. in reality Katie never gives me a kiss goodbye any m
ore but this is my daydream not yours!

Oh here she comes ! She is in the little red car today with her instructor by her side and two other students in the back seat. I can see her now . I think . Look how careful she's being, driving very slow and cautiously. Tears start to well in my eyes as I am so proud of her new found driving skills.

As I step off the curb to get her attention, the tears are blurring my vision and I stumble slightly, but it's o.k. because now I am even closer to the car ! However I lost my beer , as in mid stumble the can dropped out of my hand and went rolling across the street with the golden , foamy liquid flowing rapidly behind the can .

There , she see's me now as does everyone else in the car and the neighborhood. I start to wave frantically yelling " Katie !! Sweetie !! you forgot to give yer mommy a kiss goodbye this morn.........", oh dear I guess I didn't yell loud enough as the little red Drivers Education car has sped up and is now turning the corner.

She took that corner rather well I say to myself as I stumble back up the curb towards the house. Well there's always tomorrow!

See , now you know why I don't like to just sit here and do
nothing . So don't make fun of my obsessive cleaning anymore!

Besides , I could never do anything that would hurt this sweet face .





This is what happens when I have to just sit on my butt !



37 comments:

Jackie said...

Diana....you are such a funny gurl!
(And, you don't have to sit on your butt....come over to my house....clean until your little heart's content.) No...I changed my mind. Don't. If you do that, then you wouldn't be writing this GREAT story....and I wouldn't be sitting here laughing.
I have a picture...you spilling your beer....cigarette hanging out of your mouth....running a waving and screaming at you 'little girl'....and the look of HORROR on her face and she adamantly declare she has NO EARTHLY IDEA who that woman is. Write more!!! Please!
Love this!!!

Wanda said...

You know what happens Diana when you just sit on your butt...we benefit big time...

Tears are welling in my eyes as I sit here as I am so proud of your writing skills...See I had to sort of steal one of your lines for my comment!

You are GOOD! I felt like I was watching a cheap movie!

Luv,
Wanda

Diana said...

Hi Jackie,
I must admit I was laughing quite hard as I was writing this. It's all in good fun. I myself could hear the car accelerating in my mind as Katie spotted me!
And truthfully, I do love to clean and that's the part about the arthritis that is hard to except. I am having difficulty ignoring what needs to be done.
I am glad you enjoyed my boredom!
Love Di

Diana said...

Thank you Wanda! It has been fun imagining different scenarios in my head. If Katie knew I was writing this she would just shake her head at me!
Glad that I could make you laugh, it's healthy to laugh!
Love Di

Gail said...

Hi Diana-

Great post - I laughed heartily. And you probably do have OCD, but who cares. :-)

Love Gail
peace.....

Diana said...

Hi Gail,
I may have OCD but at least my house is clean darn it!! Excuse me while I get up and go finish the dishes!! Love Di

Maria said...

Hi Diana!
Isn't it great that someone else can teach the kids how to drive!?!
I used to be soooooo afraid to sit helpless in the passenger seat while a 16 yr. old in braids drove a 'bullet.'
It was a relief to hand the job over to someone with a brake pedal on their side!

GOD BLESS YOU, KATIE as you learn to drive...
I just read your last post, about the cortisone shot, Diana...
I'm glad you got it... I waited a year for one in my hand and the Dr. said: "Why did you wait so long?" I'm about ready for one in my foot. Glad you took care of yourself!
All the best to you Diana,
~Maria

Bernie said...

Diana, I am still laughing....what a great imagination you have and I can actually visualize the whole thing happening....LOL seriously my friend you tell wonderful story and I loved it.
Let Katie do the dishes when she gets home from school, just tell her your busy making plans for when she gets her driver's liscense.....stay still Di, help yourself get better....you don't want that knee replacement surgery now do you....:-) Hugs

Anvilcloud said...

So, you're not sitting doing nothing. You are daydreaming and blogging and taking pictures.

Eileen said...

Hi, Di!
I loved Wanda's comment "I felt like I was watching a cheap movie"! Hysterical!!
It felt a little like a skit from SNL to me!
Or like a character that was on the sitcom "Friends". Do you remember Joey's agent? The old blond with the raspy voice and she always had the cigarette hanging out of her mouth? That's the picture you put in my mind!
Very cute, Di!
And next time your husband wants you to sit still, just let him read this story and tell him that 'idle hands are the devil's workshop!'

You know, Di, I really like the character you created for yourself, it kind of reminds me of the persona of "Mommie Dearest" or the character that Bette Davis played in "Whatevery Happened to Baby Jane?"!
Great imagination (but a little bit scary!).
Love you!, E

Diana said...

Hi Maria,
Jake and I will still have to let her drive as they need a certain amount of hours behind the wheel, with parents before they can get their license. over and above what they do in school! I am not afraid!
Let me know how that shot in the foot goes, I will be needing one of those too!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Bernie,
I am doing much better and I already did the dishes! I have to take Katie after school for more immunizations, somehow we missed one. Am going to ask about flu shots while there. But there will be more dishes later waiting for her! Love Di

Diana said...

Hi AC,
You are right again , you caught me , I was not just sitting and doing nothing!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Eileen,
This is what happens when I get bored! Yes it can be scary! I didn't really watch friends much. "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane " is one of my favorite movies! I also loved "Mommie Dearest" but I think I will take the Bette Davis role if I had to choose! Thank You!!!
Love Di

Ginnie said...

I may sound like a nerd but I don't get this blog entry at all. As a recovering alcoholic (20 years+ of sobriety) I hear REAL stories like this all the time and they are far from funny. Just recently a gal with 3 sober years relapsed and, when drunk, backed out of her driveway and ran over her child's dog...it was only dumb luck that it wasn't her child!

Diana said...

Hi Ginnie,
I am so sorry that you didn't find this funny. Perhaps if you had read the previous two days posts you might understand better. I grew up around alcoholics.My grandfather was one, my father was one, and my first husband died from it at 36 years old leaving his 11 and 8 year old without a father.
I do not think that alcoholism is a laughing matter! This was just my imagination going crazy Ginnie. Please read the following two posts and you should understand better!
And again I apologize if I offended you.
Love Di
P.S. I have attended many A.A. meetings myself to better understand my first husband and learn how to deal with his alcoholism. Shortly after that I left him.

Dr.John said...

Sometime she who sits also serves.

Eileen said...

I don't think anyone reading or commenting here was laughing at the disease of Alcoholism. I have that in my family too, and I realize that dealing with it is no laughing matter.
I think most readers here were laughing at Diana's wild imagination, and the fact that she created a persona for herself that was so out of character for her.

But that's not to say that I don't laugh in the face of disease. My family members have many, many diseases (heart disease, cancer, Chrones (spelling?) Disease, emphysema, Alzheimer's, Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson's, other neurological problems, among other diseases), and while we don't find the diseases themselves funny, we all do often make light of our problems. The alcoholics too. I asked them if they were offended by something like this, and they said not at all.

That's not to say that someone else shouldn't feel offended, everyone is entitled to their own idea of what is humorous and what is not.
I just don't think any offense was intended.
And I guess I do have a very warped sense of humor, but it has helped me and other family members get through the horrors of life that have come our way.

Do I think it's funny that family members have skin cancer? No! Do I think it's funny that other family members offer to buy them gift certificates to tanning salons? Yes!
Do I think it's funny that my son is an alcoholic? No!
Do I think it's funny when he jokes that he is going to celebrate a milestone by swimming in a vat of beer? Yes!
Why do I think it's funny? Because I know laughing and joking about it helps them deal.
I also know a lot of people don't 'get' us, but we do. And I know the love and support behind all the jesting.

I'm not trying to preach to anyone, I'm just offering another point of view. We all cope in our own way.

Barb said...

Stay on that butt of yours, Di! There cannot be a speck of dust in your house - I'm sure that there aren't even fuzz balls under your bed...or moldy things in your fridge. You need to be still - but, it doesn't hurt to let your mind roam. Fun for us, too!

Linda Higgins said...

I am laughing out loud and can't stop! ERMA-DI you are such a wonderful and sweet person. Hey, what is that saying about her who laughs alone or with someone or something or other....anyway...I loved your post! I could just imagine you and picture the whole scenario! HILARIOUS! Hey...I am living with a recovering alcoholic! He has been sober for 23 or 24 or 25 years now...hmm Sept 20th I think..I forget...LOL and was just fortunate enough to still have him in my life...kay-s-ra-sa-ra, what ever will be will be....I LOVE YOUR POST!... BTDT!

Terrie said...

Oh Di, you just make me laugh. See, sometimes sitting on your butt is a good thing. More people should sit on their butts more often.
Love Terrie

Being Pramoda... said...

Hey..I too experience at time, when the sink is full of dishes..But once i stsrt, it doesot even take few minutes to complete it..so i wonder why it makes me soo lazyy...so one day i have decided to never be lazy to work, as it wont take more than few minutes ...I'm fine now..:)

And thanks for shariing the Car incident ..:)

Diana said...

Hi Dr. John,
I'm sorry but I just don't understand this! A little help?
Love Di

Diana said...

Thank you Eileen, We have had so much pain in our lives. I think that you and I think the same way in some respects. I like to move on, learn from the past but move on. I could get into all of the nightmarish things that I lived through, but I'd much rather be happy. I wasn't trying to offend anyone. I was just using my imagination. Life is just to short to hang onto darkness and despair. You are a good friend Eileen. And I thank you for that. Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Barb,
The house is good for now! Husband won't be home this weekend so it should stay pretty clean! He's not messy I just slack off when he's home! So I will get some more time to relax! Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Linda,
You are so sweet to laugh with me! It's all I was going for. I am very happy that things worked out for you! It is definitely easier said than done! Humor does help!
Love Di

Diana said...

Well Terrie I'll tell ya, I had a three hour board meeting tonight and my knee is now swollen and hurting from sitting in that chair, so I think tomorrow I will be on my butt some more! Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Prams!
Don't worry about your dishes! I worry too much about them and for no good reason! It's good to be lazy sometimes. Not always but sometimes!
Love Di

Brenda said...

I love that quote of your hubby, " Just remember , all of the trouble in the world was started by someone who couldn't sit still. "

Oh my, I am beginning to feel sorry for sweet Katie. Just that you can dream up scenarios like this is enough to give a teenager nightmares. I did chuckle that you took the photo of the drivers ed car going past your house. You are funny!

Diana said...

Hi Brenda,
Not to worry, I would never do anything to embarrass Katie, intentionally anyway. Although there are times when a teenager can make you feel that just your mere existence is an embarrassment!
Actually I don't think that I would want her to even see me as I would want to distract her in anyway!
Ah but it's fun to dream.
Love Di

Paul said...

get katie

www.teenlivedrive.com

Blessings each day said...

Sometimes people have 'off' days or become overly sensitive, but those who know you, know that you are just wacko. Wacko is a good thing as I am wacko too!

I pictured lots of goofiness but I was never offended and I grew up with not one but TWO alcoholic parents and no siblings to 'hide' with or talk to. Sometimes I think tragedy makes us more able to be goofy and good comedians.

blessings and hugs,

marcy

p.s. You could always label these as sci fi stories!

Rebecca. Harlan, IN said...

Yeah....you'd better get to work, Diana! You have a very active imagination. It could get you into trouble. I think THAT condition is called O.A.I. - overly active imagination.

Tranquility said...

Nice imagination Diana :) Loved reading this piece. Just don't worry too much. Katie will be just fine :)

As for the compulsive cleaning, do what makes you happy,just don't over do it :)

JennyMac said...

This made me laugh!

Sniffles and Smiles said...

Diana,

I LOVE this post!!!!!! You are such a wit!!!! Bravo! Bravo! Standing Ovation!! And thank you, as well, for your lovely welcoming comments!!! I'm so glad to be back! Here's a little funny for you..Blogger gave me fits this morning...it reversed two of the paragraphs in my post when I tried to load a quote box...and I didn't notice the "blip" until a few hours later...ARGHHH! Seems nothing has changed around Blogger since I last made use of it-- ROFL... Glad you could make sense of my post...And even more glad that you are my friend!!! Love to you~Janine XO

ethereal-lily said...

Wonderfully written. I am hoping you're kept away from work like you were this time, this way we can get more fun out of you :)