Thursday, July 29, 2010

" On Being Tested "

It has been one of those weeks that I feel as though I am being tested.
My patience has been tested.
My spontaneity has been tested.
My body has been tested.

My darling teenage daughter came home from North Carolina in such a foul mood. Oh she had a wonderful time while there with her big sister, but it just gave her a taste of what her life can be one day.

This is such a trying time for her or any teen for that matter. She doesn't have a job or her drivers license yet and while that time is less than a year away, I am sure it seems much longer to her. It's hard to see the big picture when you are fifteen.

It is especially hard on the parent that must take the brunt of the frustration. Holding my tongue and having my patience tested to it's fullest this week has been quite a challenge. Truthfully it's been downright hard.

She will be going to camp this Sunday for another week and then school starts on the 13th. I think that this will help. I pray that this will help. I feel for her. I remember what it was like for my oldest son and daughter when they too wanted to break away.

I am grateful that I have more patience now than I did back then.

My week was also turned a bit upside down as I had certain things that I wanted to accomplish but other things came up that were unavoidable. However, even if they were avoidable I would have done them anyway as it involved more bonding time with my grandson Jack.

First I have to say that my arthritis has been the worst that it has ever been this week and I don't know why. We have had a lot of heat and humidity along with several fronts. So I am guessing that is why. The pain has been horrible all week. It is very hard to stay positive when every step I take hurts so badly. 

Spending time with my grandchildren was worth all of the pain. I babysat on Tuesday for Jack, Sarah and her friend. I tried to take them outside but Jack was all over the place along with Sarah and her friend. I couldn't keep up. So I just moved them all inside. This was much easier for me and we actually did some constructive playing!

Today I went to clean a house that I do once a week. I knew that it was going to hurt so I took a pain pill before I went. I usually come home after cleaning exhausted and sore. I eat lunch take a power nap and then shower. 

As I was home eating my lunch today my Daughter-In-Law called in a bind. She was also cleaning a house and had Jack with her. Honestly I don't know how she does it. But than she is twenty years younger than I am! 

Jack was throwing a fit and she couldn't find anyone to watch him. Now you have probably figured out by now that the reason I don't babysit for him much is because of my physical limitations and his endless amounts of energy. But desperate times call for desperate measures.

I am so glad that I kept Katie's old dollhouse. Sarah played with it and now Jack. He isn't quite as meticulous as his big sister was!

I tried to sit as much as possible but with a two year old, that is next to impossible!

I watched over my beautiful grandson for three and a half hours after cleaning for three hours. Every joint in my body is aching. At one point this afternoon I was almost in tears, almost. 

This has been my week to be tested. And as I sit here typing this, well it hurts. A lot. But I can't help but feel that it is so worth it. Today was also the very first time that Jack fell asleep in my arms.

Spontaneous nap.......


This is so special to me. When Sarah was born, my arthritis was just beginning. I was able to do so much more with her. We bonded early.
So for this spontaneity, I am grateful.

Katie has spent the last two nights at her best friends house. I have talked to her on the phone and she told me that she loved me.

For this I am grateful.

My husband, Jake, will be home tomorrow for a whole week. A week alone together. A week alone together that we haven't had in thirteen years. 

For this I am grateful.

Life will test our patience, spontaneity, and our bodies.

For all of this, I am grateful.


Jules said...

Isn't it just the most precious moment ever when they fall asleep in your arms? I love it!!

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Bernie said...

Oh my friend my heart aches for you. I am so glad Jake is home tomorrow and then I wish you and him the best week possible.
Not sure why your arthritis is acting up Di, mine has been good for a while now that the thought of going back to those painful days almost frightens me.
It is triple digets here today and hard to take a deep breath but I am enjoying this fierce heat, even if just for the memory to look back on this winter.
Hope you get some rest and feel better real soon. Katie will be fine and you will live through it, it isn't easy being a teenager.
Luv ya......:-)Big Hugs

Lynilu said...

Oh, I love that sweet sleeping baby! They are so precious! I'm glad you had the time with him, but sorry it was rough on you. It is not fun, is it?

Enjoy your week with Jake. It is wonderful that you are going to have the alone time. I won't even expect blog posts, OK? ;)

Diana said...

Oh Jules, it was the absolute best feeling. Even through the pain!
Love Di ♥

Diana said...

Hi Bernie,
I am going for my blood work next week. I don't understand why I have all of this pain. But I will tell you this, I will not let it stop me from enjoying my life.
Love Di ♥

Diana said...

Thank you Lyn, I am hoping to post a bit, but I am so looking forward to having time alone with my husband. It is precious time for sure. Love Di ♥

Cindy said...

Diana, hi. I wanted to say thank you for the wonderful comment you left on my blog back in May. I apologize for it taking so long to respond. I'm currently in school and working and so I've put off blogging for awhile. I hope to be back to it soon. I miss posting my photos and visiting all my blog friends. Jackies blog is wonderful and if you visit her anytime soon tell her I said hello. Thanks again and I enjoyed reading some of your blog. I look forward to visiting again when I have more time. Cindy

Diana said...

Hi Cindy,
I so understand being busy. zi have grown to love all of my blogger friends. But we all have lives to live. So live your life and I will be so happy when you find time to relax and read up on all thats been happening! Love Di ♥

Rae said...

You poor dear. It sounds like it has been a rough week, but those precious little ones sure do make life worthwhile when things seem to be getting the best of us. Your determination is an inspiration to those of us that need a reminder to keep putting one foot ahead of the other. Sending you hugs and a wish for a better days ahead.

Robynn's Ravings said...

Oh Diana....I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. Pain seems to be a huge part of life for some and I wonder about it sometimes. I pray that it will give you a break soon and that you're truly able to enjoy your alone time with your hubby.

I also know the frustration of wanting alone time with my daughter but learning to be content to just be in her wake. Her heart and mind are everywhere else and that's as it should be. But we still miss them and I look forward to the day she TRULY wants to hang out with ME! Will it come? You're the mama of older kids, too, so you'll have to fill me in. XOXO

Teacher's Pet said...

Di...You are a very special lady...very special...and it makes me sad to know that you are in pain. I hope that the doctor's visit will shed some light on relief that can be gotten...and that you take care of yourself.
Jack is precious....his smile as he is playing...his quiet gentle rest on your shoulder. What joy grandchildren bring.
How wonderful that you and Jake will be spending a week together...and I wish you quiet times...happy times....loving times.
I am happy that Katie told you that she loves you. As she gets older, those times will come more and more, Di. I hug you and hope you know that you are thought of with love and smiles...

Cinner said...

Oh Diana, I am so sorry about your arthritis, I wish the pain would go away. reading your post made me think how tired you must have been today. I remember the first time my nephew fell asleep in my arms. it was a moment. have a wonderful week with your husband. I hope that all the aches and pains go away. hugs to you my friend.

Wanda..... said...

Teenage girls are experts at being testy, Di. Sshool will help with that! I hope the pain magically disappears by this weekend, so you can really enjoy your week with Jake. Little Jack is cute in his haircut, he's growing fast, didn't expect him to look so much older than the sidebar photo! Love the photo of him asleep on your shoulder, nothing better!

Diana said...

Hi Rae!
I am going to sit as much as possible today! Tomorrow my granddaughter and I are going to see "Cats and Dogs" I can't wait!
Love Di ♥

Diana said...

Hi Robynn,
My two older children seemed to change the moment that they moved out! They truly are caring adults now so you do have something to look forward to!
It's the few last years before they leave that are rough!
Love Di ♥

Diana said...

Hi Jackie,
Spending that time with Jack WAS so worth it. I feel like he actually loves me now!
I have two doctors appointments next month and blood work. So we'll see. Surgery may come before I want it to. Love Di ♥

Diana said...

Hi Cinner,
It feels so go to have a little one fall asleep in your arms. You can just feel the innocent love! Thanks for stopping by today!
Love Di ♥

Diana said...

Hi Wanda,
I have been meaning to change some photos on my sidebar! The kids grow fast! Jacks haircut is just like his daddy's!
As far as Katie goes, I agree, school will help! She loves it.
Love Di ♥

Maria said...

Hi Diana!
I'm visiting my father for a few days... with my sister and lil' niece! He has an older computer, but so glad he has one!

Boy, I'll tell you, my muscles are nowhere nearly as strong as they used to be when I had my own wee ones! My son, Jason was 10 pounds when he was born and I could probably lift a house back then... but now...

everything hurts after holding "our new little cabbage patch" of family little ones...

It is so wonderful, Diana, that you list your gratitudes... I used to do that more regularly and it does lift our hearts and bring more joy. You are in g'mother bliss holding Jack. He's soooo cute!

God bless you, Diana ~ wishing you more joy and love always*

Sabi Sunshine said...

He is so cute and adorable...these are the precious moments and you will never ever forget these moments. God bless both of you!


Amanda said...


Oh my goodness your grandson is the cutest!!! I feel for your daughter, the teen years are sooo hard, but then we grow up and wish we could do it all over again!!! There are so many doors open for us at that time, we have the world at our feet. But, perhaps that is too overwhelming at such an age!! Good thing she has a patient and strong mom to help!!!


Gail said...


I SO understand about fifteen year old girls. I hd two myself. Ohg what a trying time for all of us. Quite th challenge. I feel for ya big time. I also understand totally about the heat and humidity flaring up health conditions - I feel for ya on that too. YOu are a wonderful Gramma and as hard as it was it seemed like ytou enjoyed your time with that adorable little guy. :-) Your determination is such an inspiration to me.

Enjoy Jake and do "big girl' things with him, if you get my drift. :-)

Love you
peace and hope.....

Garnetrose said...

I know what you mean when you talk about what a trial it is to keep up with a 2 year old. It makes me realize why God gives babies to younger women. they can keep up with them. Sleeping babies are so sweet. I love it with Alix curls up in my arms and goes to sleep. It makes me realize that life is good, no matter what else might be going on. I hope you and your hubby have a great week.

anupama said...

Dear Di,
Good Evening!
I am late to reach your blog;I was busy dear.
Wonderful and loving photos with your grandson.He is so cute.
Di,I am so sad that you had severe pain;still you are positive in thoughts.Great!Each time you inspire me dear!
Enjoy the precious moments with your sweetheart!:)
I am happy that I have come across you in blogosphere.
Di,Happy Friendship Day!
Love,prayers and hugs,

Sabi Sunshine said...

Have a happy Friendship Day!


Tranquility Speaks said...

Oh dear Diana! A big bear hug to you for tackling the biggest of setbacks in the best way possible without giving up. I truly admire your strength and I still managed to see a lot of optimism and positivity. God bless you Diana and I hope that the days to come are much better.

Life doesn't quit testing us. And I think the only way to go through it is to let life know that we recognize that it is but a test and no matter what we won't succumb and give in.

Loads of love Diana and tremendous amount of strength and happiness and most importantly peace to you.

A very Happy Happy friendship's day to you :)

Rebecca said...

They're so cute when they're sleeping :)

Hope that next week ALONE with Jake will more than make up for the trials of this past one...

I'm glad you can write about it. I think it gives perspective and takes some of the sting out of the hurts when we shared with others.

Hang in there! (It's probably better already...I see I'm late catching up.)

Bill ~ {The Old Fart} said...

I am sure you are going to come though these Tests with a 100% score. Di, I have sent happy thoughts for you, and asked that you be given the energy to keep up with your Grandson. He is a Handsome Wee Bairn.

A wonderful weekend is wished for you. Enjoy your week with your Hubby.

Krista said...

You are such a good mom.
God Bless.

Lois Evensen said...

I hope the arthritis gets under control and you have some relief. The little sleepy guy is just charming. ;)

Anvilcloud said...

Sorry you're having such an achy time. Meanwhile, my hips are glad to be out of the car. :)

Dee said...

Being a mom and a grandma is tough work . Heck just being ones self is hard work. Mother daughter relationships are sooooo ----goofy. I do hope you and hubby will have some quality time together.I love the picture of you and your little grandson sleeping on your shoulder. It is amazing what one can endure for love. Diana, my arthritis has been horrible the past couple of weeks too. I have been having a difficult time sleeping and walking. :( It must be weather related.

linda said...

I'm so sorry you had a week filled with such trials, but thank goodness for the blessings. Glad you were able to notice and be thankful for them. God is good!

I'm sure this next week will be much better! Have a great time with hubby!

Brenda said...

I am so sorry to hear that your arthritis has been bad. It requires so much energy to deal with pain. I do pray that you will get some relief.

I am glad for those "kisses on the cheek" from your daughter and from sweet little Jack.

I do so want for you to have a special week with your hubby.

Many blessings to you!

Linda Higgins said...

Ah yes, I am so sorry that you had to be tested. the trooper that you are endured once again. Me too. I just endure. No other choice. It is the weather. Something you can actually blame. Because just saying you hurt and not blaming doesn't help or make sense does it? Thank goodness pain pills were invented. I couldn't live without them. Ah...I am on a new med this week Pretizone. Hoping to find relief in my RA too! love and hugs Di...keep up the faith, it's what I clingue to during painful days...

Graceful Moments said...

I'm so sorry that your arthritis is causing you such pain. I have been having trouble with my neck this last couple of weeks. I believe it's the high humidity. You really did have some trials. I am hoping that this week will be a wonderful week for the two of you together. Saying a prayer that your arthritis will take a hike.
Love, Vicki

Graceful Moments said...

Just one more thing...I don't think there is anything better than a grandchild in your arms asleep. Love you, Vicki

arlee bird said...

After all my daughters except the youngest left home, the remaining daughter became rather difficult sometimes and her senior year of high school was a trying time. She seems to have survived pretty well and now is doing a wonderful job of mothering our first grandchild.

Tossing It Out

Barb said...

I give you an A+ for making it through a testing period. Hope you feel better this week. The photos of Jack are precious! Whatever you do, don't introduce him to Mr Toad. Hope you and Jake have some great alone-time!

Terrie said...

Hi Diana, You have amazing strength in both the testing phase and the pain you're in. I'm sorry you've had to endure either your strength is an inspiration to many. Hugs to you!

Jenny said...

Oh Di. I am so sorry. Trying to do the things you love and hammered by pain. Jack is adorable. How lucky you can manage him at all, but I can't imagine your exhaustion after trying to keep up with a rowdy 2 year old.

Your daughter. I know that pain. I often wished I would have gotten my kids involved with "good works" and "volunteering" more. A lot of schools are requiring that now over summer vacation and I wonder if it would keep the kids from being so self-involved.

Hang in there.

Hugs and prayers coming your way.