Tuesday, August 25, 2009

" I'm Just a Quitter "

I did it again. I quit. I quit quitting smoking. So I guess that makes me a quitter.

Life Lesson # 5,256 : It is very hard to quit something that you don't want to quit.

It seems that I had forgotten life lesson # 5,256. And after reading Joe's story , the temptation to smoke was just too overwhelming. Oh and by the way , upon further research I discovered that Joe is actually Josephine. As I took Ruby for her walk this evening , I noticed that Joe ( For short ) was still diligently guarding her web. It seems that this fascinating little garden spider has more control than I do !

Besides it was killing me. I know your probably saying " No, smoking is killing you!".
And right you would be but that's not what I mean. You see every time I started to crave a smoke , I would get up and start cleaning. Or I'd pick up my needle and thread and start crocheting. So much so that I am paying dearly for it these past two days. Arthritis you know. I quickly remembered how difficult it is for me to sit still , let alone sit still going through nicotine withdrawals.

So here we are my friends. At least you don't have to worry about second hand smoke! And I am NOT disappointed in myself. I know that I can do it if I want to. And therein lies the rub. If I want to.

I truly love all of you my Blogger friends. You all gave just the right amount of support with no lectures. But I suppose we all have habits that we would rather not have. Bad habits aside , we are what we are. And I am extremely crazy about all of you.


Anonymous said...

Give Josephine a wave for me (like on Charlotte's Web)....
I love the crochet work that you do. I will treasure the ones you sent me until forever. I hope that you have a relaxing night, Diane.
Your blogs make me laugh. You are a funny gurl!!
Smiles from Jackie

Anonymous said...

It's me again Diana...I think I've typed 'Diane' to you more times than I'm willing to admit...I admit it: I'm a duffus. Forget my holding the punching bag for you to pummel. I'll just BE one. Punch away at me, my friend. Forgive my misspelling....
Smiles from Jackie

Tranquility Speaks said...

You know what's good for you Diana. Nobody needs to tell you that. Things happen when realization hits. Keep going, with greater strength every day!

Bernie said...

Hi Diana, as far as I can see you are still the same Diana that I met several months ago and I consider you to be one of my best friends in the Village. Don't beat up on yourself, you are loved.
Take care of your hands....:-) Hugs

Diana said...

Hi Ya Jackie,
I am much more relaxed thank you! Katie had a fun homework assignment that I was helping her with and we were laughing so hard together! Doing homework together used to be an absolute nightmare! But this time we had fun.
I forgive you for calling me Diane , Jackie. You can call me hey you if you want to. I am horrible with names. But Diane and Diana are so close that I am quite used to it! My father wanted to name me Candy! Oh my I'm glad mt mother stopped him. My life could have been totally different!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Tranquility,
I am doing much better today. I had a long talk with my Pastor yesterday and feel much better about myself today!
Love Di

Eileen said...

I'm a quitter too, I quit eating junk food all the time, and then I quit the quitting and go back to it all the time too.
I've always said that, I have to WANT to be healthy and lose the weight MORE than I want to eat junk food, and apparently that desire is not within me yet, and maybe it never will be. It's really that simple. You have to want something badly enough in order to completely change your lifestyle to achieve it. Do I want to be thin and healthy? YES! But only if I can wave a magic wand to do it. I do not want to give up my bad eating habits, I love them, I enjoy my unhealthy lifestyle too much to change. If I could find something just as fulfilling and satisfying to eat as junk, I'd be healthy and thin, I have not yet found it.
If you could find something just as fulfilling and healthy as smoking, and it fulfilled a need, you'd do it, you haven't found it yet.
The day you want something more than you want smoking is the day you'll quit.
I saw that with my sister-in-law Susie, she would love to fulfill her son's one wish (every year for as long as I can remember since he was a little boy all he asked for every birthday and Christmas was the gift of Susie quitting smoking, and then when he went to Iraq, the same thing), Susie would love to be able to do that for him, but she wants to smoke more than she wants to fulfill that wish. And she admits it. It's that simple.
I LOVE how you admit you just don't want to quit! Most people make a million excuses, you and Susie are both very honest about what's really going on.

Oh, here's a weird little fact Susie told me ~ did you know the guy that started the jogging craze for a healthy lifestyle dropped dead of a heart attack while out jogging?
I'm going to 'google' that to see if it's an urban myth! But if it's true, I guess it doesn't matter all that much what you do to stay healthy, when it's time to go HOME, you're going there! You know how it's said all the worrying in the world isn't going to add one hour to your life? Well, is all the healthy changes we make really making any difference? Are we trying to beat God's time line for us?
Any healthy people reading here, don't get on my case! It's just a little joke (sort of).
Love you!, E

Diana said...

Good Morning Bernie,
I am doing o.k. I know that I can quit, just not right now. My hands are killing me still. And I have to clean tomorrow. I will try to not do much today! Yea right! I may go visit my DIL, that will stop me from working!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Eileen,
Your story is so true. It wasn't my cholesterol or my strokes that made me want to lose weight. My desire to lose weight happened almost six years ago when I was babysitting for my new granddaughter Sarah. She was just starting to run around and wanted grandma to play ring around the rosie with her. Grandma weighed over 200 lbs. and couldn't get up off of the floor! That did it for me. I wanted to be able to play with my new grandchild. I didn't want to just sit there on the couch and watch her play! That's when I joined curves and lost almost 50lbs and 46 inches. 46inches is a small child! So you are right. I wanted to do that for my grandchildren. And it sounds to me like you have no trouble playing with Jayden and Mia! There has to be a very strong desire to want to give something up that we love!
Love Di

Wanda said...

I think we villagers are all crazy about you too Diana and not one bit disappointed in you or your choices.

You are a funny lady Diana...even when grumpy! So Joe is Josephine now! I remember you telling me I should name all those turtles I found...that's my excuse...gender issues!

Hope your hands are feeling better today...I think I'm getting arthritis in my thumbs.

Smiles always,

Gail said...

Hi Diana-

Like I said, "I love to smoke"....
I don't any more and I am not even sure why. If people ask if I smoke I always say "no, but I miss it every day".
So you will quit or not or whatever in your time for your reasons.
Enjoy your day.
Love and peace

Blessings each day said...

Try not to spit
Just because you did not quit
And when you get over it
You'll start feeling fit.

One day your dream may come true
And you'll do it and not feel blue
Cause your friends are all here for you
And we'll stick to you like glue.

blessings, hugs and grateful prayers for all the things you have successfully conquered (like your weight) to remember to give yourself a pat on the back for,


Eileen said...

Di, I'm sorry to be using your blog to deliver a message but I can't get to Jackie or Marcy's blogs (among others), and I got to Bernie's but I don't know if my comment took because when I pressed 'publish your comment' nothing seemed to happen, I waited awhile, and tried again but nothing.

Okay, I'll try tonight again as I'm pretty busy today.
Love to everyone!

Maria said...

Good Morning!
Diana, you have a beautiful light that shines from within you...

I love what C.S. Lewis wrote once:
You don't have a soul... You ARE a soul... You have a body.

I have a big "should" list when it comes to taking care of my body...

The work that is more important for me right now, is my 'soul-work.' When I put that first, my -should list- changes.
All the best to you, Maria

Barb said...

Hi Di, A long time ago, I decided to try not to beat myself up for "shoulds." You're funny and smart - I think you're right - you can do whatever you decide you want to do. Hope the trauma hasn't caused the arthritis to flair too much. Be kind to yourself - nobody wants you to be anyone except who you are...

Tranquility Speaks said...

That's the way to be Diana! Am SO glad you spoke to your Pastor :) Keep going...We are all with you, wishing you well at every step of the way :)

Brenda said...

I am on Day One, again, for the zillionth time on my diet. I empathize with you.

Good for you for sticking with you diet! Nothing that anyone says helps me--unfortunately. Oh to control the switch in my head.

Diana said...

Hi Wanda,
I do understand not naming the turtles now. But then again I don't think they care what gender we would assign them! The hands are a little better today thanks!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Gail,
I love to smoke too although I do find myself just getting tired of it. I do know that someday I will quit just don't know when! When I quit the one time for two years, I didn't want to then and ended up back to it again! I wanted to smoke the whole time.If it's not one thing that kills you it's another!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Marcy,
You are such a poetess! Is that a word? Poetess? Whatever, I liked your poem! Thanks for sticking with me Marcy, it means a lot!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Hear Ye, Eileen is trying to communicate with the blogisphere. Everyone be advised that Eileen is lost somewhere in cyberworld and until she can find her way back, please be advised that she loves you all and is very busy dodging cyberspace balls trying to find her way back to us!

This message brought to you by crazy blogger lady.

Diana said...

Hi Maria,
You have a beautiful way of putting things and I really appreciate it! And you are absolutely right, I am busy doing my soul work!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Barb,
I really try not to beat myself up about not quitting. It's just bad timing and I sort of knew that but still gave it a try anyway. Sometimes doing something that's supposed to be good for you isn't always good for you. Such is my case right now. Thank you for being so supportive!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Tranquility,
It is wonderful that you are there for me. And I hope you know that you can count on me as well when you need to vent about something! We are in this crazy world together!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Brenda,
Don't give me too much credit as I have gained some of the weight back. But I have stayed steady now for a couple of years and for that I am grateful! It is a lot of work just maintaining! After all, who doesn't like to eat!!!!!!!!!
Love Di

Eileen said...

Okay, I'm back again, it's me the pest. I did get onto the other blogs but now I'm back to go digging here for information!
Give us a hint on your birthday PLEASE! Is it the first two weeks or later in the month? Just narrow it down a little for us!

Eileen said...


Okay, so you said in the April 11 post that Good Friday was also your birthday, so that was April 10! This should be easy to remember because my sister Diane is the next day!
When I read the post I then remembered about how happy you were with Katie's surprise!

Okay, I'm writing it down on my calendar right now, Di!
Love you,

Diana said...

Jeez Eileen Talk about being an over achiever! I was going to do a little guessing game, but before I even got the chance you won!!!!! There will be a prize involved but my hands are going to make you have to wait a while!!! Hope your patient!
Love Di

Terrie said...

I guess this is why I never try to break bad habbits of mine like eating sweets, NOT dieting, peeling the skin off my fingers, blah blah blah (I have too many to mention). I don't want to be considered a quitter (or as you say, quit quitting). Just like making goals, if I don't set any goals, I can never fail, right?

Diana said...

Hi Terrie,
You are right about not failing if you don't set any goals. Yet I still keep trying! I think that all of the trying is whats going to kill me!
Love Di

Rebecca. Harlan, IN said...

Honesty is perhaps the trait I most admire. Truth is the starting point for me in relationships (and, as I think about it, the place from which any growth and maturity have begun in me.) Your owning your lack of desire in this area makes me want to hug you more firmly. I can SO identify with you. It's OK. A Power greater than me is the only explanation I have for any small progress I've made in my "habit" life--and believe me, I have my share!

Tranquility Speaks said...

Of course I count on all of you to hear me vent and give me your kind advise and help me out whenever I've landed myself in a soup! :D Thanks Diana :) Hope today was better!

P.S You might want to update your blog roll with my new URL http://tranquility-speaks.blogspot.com/ so that it reflects the changes :)

Diana said...

Hi Rebecca,
I really could use a hug, especially since my 14 year old feels that a hug is beyond her now I guess! Thanks for the kind words Rebecca, they keep me going!
Love Di

Diana said...

Hi Tranquility,
Thank you for reminding me about the blog roll. I completely forgot! I will do it by tomorrow. I have to go clean today and wash walls so I don't know if I'll be back to the computer before then. Love You!
Love Di