" Moonlight Serenade "

Well here we are with yet another full moon. It is beautiful. Yet sleep escapes me for several days when it arrives.

Precious sleep. It's hard to come by with age. And the beautiful full moon,
she doesn't help at all.

So I just go with it knowing that it will pass. My mind races. My body protests.
My children complain of their lack of sleep, all the while telling me that I am crazy for suggesting the fact of the sleepless full moon.

Ah yes, the beautiful yet sleepless full moon.

" Where Was I ? "

Oh yeah, I was at the grocery store. I'll bet you thought I was there for quite awhile right? Truth be told, I did give grocery shopping quite a bit of thought after my last post.

I truly was a bit confused as to what I wanted to eat. So many years of pleasing other people, I guess I just forgot what I liked. Well except when someone else cooks for me. I'm not very picky at all when I don't have to think or work for food!!

I did however learn a few interesting things about myself after 54 years. The strangest thing that I discovered was that I don't eat much.

It's true! When no one is around, I don't have much of an appetite. As a matter of fact I think I've lost about five pounds in the last month without even trying. Food, when I am alone becomes a necessity to survive. I really don't have many cravings and do quite well one two meals a day with a yogurt, glass of V8, whole wheat toast with jelly or a few pretzels in between.

Another very interesting discovery that I have made while being alone is that I can live on mostly vegetables and a little fruit. I've had about 12 ounces of fish and 16 ounces of meat, mostly chicken, in an entire week with the rest of my food intake being vegetables, whole grain bread, yogurt and or cottage cheese.

I'm not a huge dessert person. Don't get me wrong here, I love dessert as much as the next person, I just don't crave sweets very much. Example, I buy a large Hershey Dark Chocolate Bar, every two weeks. I have a square or two a day, sometimes skipping a day.
That satisfies that!

When my husband comes home on the weekends I splurge and prepare something special. It's sometimes fattening but not always. Last week I made Cheesy Chicken Enchiladas in which the ingredients included, sour cream and Velveeta. Yeah, that was fattening! But we also had a delicious salad with the help of Lean Cuisine. 

Perhaps you've heard of the Lean Cuisine Salad helpers? They are fairly new and you can find them in the freezer section. See, I found my way around the grocery store after all!!!

All you need is lettuce. There is a package of microwavable black beans, chicken, corn, and red peppers. Just microwave and pour on top of lettuce. Meanwhile there was a nice spicy dressing included along with tortilla strips. I also added sliced onion and avocado. 
Very tasty. My husband even liked it! They have a few different flavors which I am anxious to try.

It's been nice having a candle light dinner with my husband on the weekend. Something we aren't used to doing together and it looks like will be coming to an end now as our Katie has returned home like a boomerang. It's o.k. I wasn't ready for her to leave yet anyway.

But just so you know, I'm not going to let other people dictate how I eat anymore. From now on, I am eating for myself and I rather like it that way. I've taken care of everyone else long enough. It's time to think about myself. At least once in awhile right?

" Grocery Shopping "

Grocery shopping. This is not a task that I generally give a great deal of thought to nor do I enjoy it in any way.

For instance, I can never remember a time when I've had enough money to get all of the things I'd like let alone need. Never. We've always paid the bills first and whatever was left over, well, that would have to make due.

When my children were all at home, grocery shopping proved to be quite a challenge. Buying enough food to keep everyone fed and for the most part happy, wasn't always easy.

I do believe this is one of the reasons that I've never liked cooking. That's not to say that I am not a good cook. I am, tooting my own horn here, a good cook. My specialties being soups, a talent that I picked up from my grandmother Laverne and my ex in-laws. I also have a great talent, or so I've been told, for making something out of nothing. This I think came from my father who was a cook in the Sea Bee's. We didn't have much money in those days either. What extra we did have, my father drank so he was good at making something out of nothing.

Back to grocery shopping. I had to do a bit of it yesterday and it was an eye opening experience for me. You see this was the first time that I can remember, being able to shop for myself. I found this to be quite confusing as I quickly realized that I didn't know what to buy for myself. Oh there were those items, staples, we used to call them that we needed, but I truly didn't have a clue what I wanted to eat for the next few days!

I've always shopped for food with my children and husband in mind and I actually did buy a couple of things I could cook that my husband would like. Even though I rarely cook anymore much to my husbands dismay. I've put my own tastes on the back burner for so long trying to satisfy everyone else that I really didn't know what I liked or wanted anymore.

I love vegetables, all of them except for Eggplant which I'm allergic to. I always try to keep a big container of salad in the fridge for lunch and or dinner. Unfortunately finding good fresh vegetables right know is costly so I resorted to a lot of frozen ones. I only eat red meat a couple of times a month. Chicken and fish is my norm.

I like to eat healthy. Something the rest of my family could care less about. And now I can. My biggest problem now is cooking. I still hate it and I certainly don't like doing it for myself. I consider it a huge waste of time. I don't like food THAT much !!

So after my little adventure in the grocery store yesterday I came to the conclusion that I need to take some time to find some fast, easy and healthy recipes. It's much easier to buy the frozen lean meals but they really aren't that healthy for you. The sodium content is usually pretty high and I don't find them very satisfying.

So I will be giving this some more thought in the coming weeks. I will gladly accept any QUICK, EASY, HEALTHY recipes you may send my way!!

" Period of Adjustment "

I know I've been gone for sometime now from Blogland. Haven't really felt like sharing. So many of you have emailed, facebooked messages and even called to make sure I am alright.

I want to thank all of you for your concern. I am alright now but it was a rough road there for a while. Right now I am going through a period of adjustment.

The custody problems with my son and DIL have settled down for now. After mediation with attorney's, they both seem to behaving in a more adult manner concerning the sharing of my grandchildren.

Which is good for all concerned. 

My husband had to have yet another sinus surgery in November. Not a pleasant surgery. It was his fifth or sixth one and I just pray it will be his last. After that he was very sick and home from work for sometime. 

In the meantime our little girl told us just days before Christmas that she was moving out. Our last bird flew the coop. 

I don't think she was ready for this. My husband doesn't think she was ready for this. Neither one of us was ready for this so soon.

However, I don't know that we would have ever been ready for this. She left before Christmas and it was a difficult time for Jake and I. It still is. But she is 18 and and we couldn't stop her.

Needless to say this broke our hearts. We both became very depressed. Jake and I celebrated our 23rd anniversary on December 29th and it was the first time in 23 years we've been without children.

With my husband being gone five to six days of the week, this is the first time that I have ever been alone in 54 years.

This has been a very big period of adjustment for me.

Although I do enjoy my own company, it seems so strange being alone all the time. Lord knows I have plenty to keep me busy, so much so that I have trouble keeping up. That's not the problem.

I miss Kate so much. I have seen her a few times and we talk on the phone. It's just so hard for me to accept that she isn't a little girl. She still seems like one to me.

Some good has come out of it though. Jake and I have time alone now and have discovered that we do just fine when we are alone together. It's pretty peaceful. We worried about that for years.

But not anymore. It's actually very nice.

I couldn't do anything with Kate's room for awhile. I just kept hoping that she would change her mind and come back home.

But the other night I couldn't take it anymore and started taking all of the things off the walls that she didn't want to take. She took pretty much everything with her. What she didn't, we agreed that I would pack it up and she would get it at another time.

The walls in that room are just terrible. Full of tape and nail holes.

I plan on fixing all of the walls, repainting and turning it into my craft/sewing room. The sunlight in there is wonderful and it has a south and west view of my entire little yard. It will be nice to sit and look out the windows while working on a project.

Of course Kate could change her mind and want to come back home. In which case I'd let her have the room back.

I just don't know what the future holds but for now I am taking things one day at a time trying to move forward.

It's been tough but I'm working through things.

I'm slowly making my way through life without children. It's been filled with them for 35 years. The grandchildren help with that end.

I don't know when I'll blog again. I've been doing a lot of rearranging in my house and my life.

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am, for the most part,

alright.