Sunday, December 27, 2009

" It's One of THOSE Years "

Tomorrow the Christmas decorations are going to start getting packed away. It's just one of those years. I have in the past left them out until after New Years Day and I have also taken them down the day after Christmas. Just depends on the mood, if ya know what I mean.

Actually, had I not put them out before mom passed, I would not have put them out at all this year. I didn't even get a tree. I just couldn't do it. The spirit was just not there this year.

I did however manage to add to my Christmas decoration collection this year. Again. I keep tel
ling myself year after year that I have enough already. But I can never seem to listen to my own advice!

I started out with one nativity that my mother had given me a few years ago. It is one of my favorite decorations. And now I have five. I really wasn't trying to collect them, but when Ginny and I went thrift shopping, well you can guess the rest.

This is the one that mom gave me for Christmas a few years back. I remember being so excited because I didn't have my own Nativity and thought this one was quit
e beautiful.

I also acquired two Nativity's that were mom's. One she had since I was a teen. But they will all be neatly and safely packed away this week. I just don't want to look at them anymore.

I will put my sewing machine back in it's rightful place on the dining room table.

I would like to start focusing on baby Jack's quilt. He is so sweet and into everything.
Also, very much a mama's boy right now.

We had a quite Christmas this year. Except for the little one's I don't think any of us were overly enthusiastic about Christmas this year. But we were together. That was the important thing.

Friday, December 25, 2009

" Sorry But I Couldn't Help Myself "

While I do realize that this photo isn't what you would consider
Full of the Christmas spirit,

I just couldn't help myself.
I loved it.

I do hope that everyone had a lovely Christmas.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

" Seasons Greetings "

Hello everyone. I feel bad that I haven't kept in touch with all of you. I wanted to let you all know that I am all right. I have a new look thanks to my daughter, Ginny.
She is home for the week and this has been a help and a comfort to me.

The last few weeks have been very hard on me. Many of you have already experienced what I have been going through, so I know that you understand how I have been feeling. It truly has been a roller coaster of emotions. I thought that it may ease up with a little time but discovered that it has actually gotten a bit tougher with Christmas approaching.

All the while life goes on and there has been loose ends to tie and business to take care of. All of your lovely comments have helped me so. I don't want to drone on and on as I love you all so much and want you to enjoy this wonderus time of year.

I am going to post something that will hopefully make you smile. I got the idea from Eileen at " Ummas World ". I hope that she doesn't mind. My daughter Ginny, put it together for your entertainment and I must admit that when I saw it, I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

Before you watch this, I have to tell you that my son in this video was the one that made us laugh the most. He is super conservative. This would be totally out of his realm. But when he see's it, I think it will make him laugh as well.

Love to you all and I do hope that you enjoy a wonderful Christmas.

The site won't let me embed it, but all you have to do is click on this link or copy and paste it in your browser and you're on your way to a hilarious video!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I haven't felt like blogging at all under the circumstances.
But here I was awake at 4:00 a.m. this morning. I have learned not to fight sleeplessness anymore. So I felt like just sharing a few thoughts.

I am going to try not to make this sad as Christmas time is upon us. Despite how emotional I have been feeling, one thought that has continually crossed my mind was how much my mom loved Christmas.

She would understand our families sorrow but I know that she wouldn't want us to be sad at this time but instead rejoice in the glory of Jesus' birth.

You know as well as I do that this will be a huge challenge for our family this year.
Truthfully I am feeling anxious right now just thinking about it. But I do believe that if I try to focus on the true meaning of Christmas this year,
I , we , will make it through.

My family has given me so much comfort these past ten days. My daughter Ginny will be back home in five days. I am counting the days. If you've read this blog before,
you may remember me mentioning that she was born with a gift of lighting up a room.
A special aura surrounds her.
I do believe that that light will come in handy this visit home.

One of the things that I learned about my mother after her passing was that she was far more spiritual then I had already known that she was. I have been reading through her bibles that she wrote all over in and a journal that she kept. A spiritual journal.

I thought that I had a strong faith. But I do believe that she put me to shame in this aspect of life. Mom never tried to force religious beliefs on any of us.
She did give us a foundation but never nagged about going to church. She let me find my own way.

And when we did find our church home a few years ago and Katie was confirmed this past spring, I know the pride and joy that filled her heart.
All three of my children believe in the Lord Our Savior.

The two eldest have not yet found their church home. But I like my mother will not force the issue. After all , it was my mother that taught me at a very young age that God is with you where ever you go.
He is always there.

On that note I am going to end this with a verse and a prayer that I found in one of mom's prayer books. I read it last night before bed. It gave me comfort.

Jesus' Victory over Death

He will swallow up death in victory;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears
from off all faces.
Isaiah 25:8

Father, right now, standing at the grave of one I love, I cannot be consoled by any words. I am capable only of weeping for my loss; all I can feel is despair and anger that my loved one has been ripped from me. I am in shock, stumbling through my paces, letting others guide me during these horrible hours.

And yet this is a battle already won. Jesus through his death and resurrection, has conquered death, " that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:15). I know this, Father. I believe in this. Be with me today as I grieve. Wipe away my tears and give me faith in these dark hours,
for the victory is already yours.

Friday, December 11, 2009

" Thinking of All of You "

I just wanted to let all of my beautiful and loving blogger friends how truly amazing all of you are to me.

I am still in a surrealistic mindset right now. Please forgive me and know that I miss all of you.

And most importantly, Thank you. Your words and condolences have been a tremendous comfort to me. Probably more than you even know.

I will be back someday I am sure. And I do hope that we will all meet again soon.

Love and Blessings, Di

Saturday, December 5, 2009

" Anna Mae Evanoff "

February 20, 1937 - December 5, 2009

I don't know what else to say except that I am completely numb
right now.

I just found out a few hours ago that my mom passed away in her sleep
Last night.

I can't think and I can't feel anything.
I can't even cry.

Arrangements will be made tomorrow.

I love you mom.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

" Odd Yet Interesting "

Just a short post tonight.

This week we went to church to decorate for Christmas.

There were several trees and a Nativity to set up.
This is Katie and her friend Natasha,
doing their part.

Then we took a trip to the hospital as Katie sprained her
wrist whilst roller skating in P.E. class.

Along with three others. One who's wrist was broken.

I should never have signed that darned permission slip.

Kate is not in a very graceful stage lately.

She is still able to talk on her phone however, texting
has proven to be a bit challenging.

On the bright side, her new splint matches her new quilt
quite well don't ya think ?

Remember paper mache? Sure you do.

Remember how messy yet fun and magical it was?

Katie's art class was able to experience the fun first hand.

The first photo was the project that Katie worked on.

This next one gave me a sweet tooth.

I know, I have been having too many of those lately!

And this one I thought was monstrously

The things they do with paper mache these days!

It was an interesting Art Show to say the least!

On the way home I took a photo of the little downtown area
where I live.

It was an odd yet interesting week.

Sort of like these photos!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

" I'll Admit It , I'm Envious ! "

My eldest daughter, Ginny, thinks me silly.

Perhaps corny.

Maybe a little old school.

Probably very old school.

But I don't care.

What I really am is envious .
She blogs about happenings in the Raleigh North Carolina area.

She recently blogged about " The Raleigh Ringers ".

A hand bell orchestra that I would love to see in person.

She , while she has the ability to see them in concert,
has never done so.

What a waste. What a shame. Shame on you Ginny !

You must go see The Raleigh Ringers !

I must go see The Raleigh Ringers !

I find them fascinating.

Perhaps someday I will be fortunate to go see
The Raleigh Ringers.

In the meantime, Forgive me.
I am envious.

Monday, November 30, 2009

" It's Monday, I Must Be Dreaming ! "

First of all I must start by telling you that I missed most of
"Desperate Housewives" last night. Certainly not by choice or because of a previous engagement .

I missed most of the show because I fell asleep in my recliner.
Now I know that this is not an unusual practice when one gets comfy cozy in one's recliner , but falling asleep at 8:15 p.m. is unusual for me.
Even if I am comfy a
nd cozy.

Katie Rose opted out of watching the show with me this week and headed off to her room to do whatever it is that teenage girls do in their rooms.

I will admit that I felt some concern when she came to me around 7:45 p.m. and asked if I had a lighter or some matches that she could have!
But I thought, what the heck, that's what i
nsurance is for, as I gave her an old lighter I had.

It was shortly after that when I fell sound asleep, I think I was snoring,
in my recliner. The smoke detector never went off and I am still alive
today so the house never caught fire and I didn't die from smoke inhalation!

I went upstairs at 9:00 p.m. , aggravated that I missed the show ,
after saying a quick goodnight to Kate.

Katie Rose has been very good at getting up on her own since she has
started high school. This is great as it allows me to sleep in most mornings. This morning I slept until 7:25 a.m.. This is late for me.

I was pretty out of it as I walked towards the bathroom to brush my teeth. I met up with Katie Rose in the hallway on the way there.
She had her hair up in a very cute ponytail. Not usual for the girl.

I commented to her on how cute her hair lo
oked as she was throwing her purse and book bag over her shoulder. I asked her, where she was going. To which she replied, to school.

Oh my , I did sleep in, goodbye sweety, I love you, be careful. These
are the things that I say to her every morning before she leaves.
To which I only get a grunt of some sort. Every morning.
It's o.k. I'm used to it. It's just a phase!

So on now with my morning. I had some
coffee as I spoke to my husband on the phone. We talked for almost an hour. After we
got off the phone I fixed a little breakfast and than started to clean.

Would you expect anything less from me? I started with the dishes as
I was cooking some spaghetti sauce for tonight's dinner.
I continued on to the floors and the bathroom. Katie Rose's bedroom is right next to the bathroom so I thought I would check to see if she had any glasses or dishes in there that need to be washed.

There were several moments that went by after I stepped into Katie Rose's room. Moments that my mind was blank.

Truly I thought that I may be dreaming !

And then there were the questions that started popping into my head. You know the questions that I am talking about. Did I accidentally walk into the wrong place?

The feeling was like that of when you go to use a public bathroom
and you look at the little male/female symbol on the door so as not to
cause yourself unwanted emb

The quilt that I made was on her bed. Not jumbled in a ball on the floor.
No, it was on the bed, spread out ever so neatly.

The cat, well I could actually see the cat sitting on the stool as she
wasn't camouflaged somewhere in the heaping pile of clothes that
decorate my daughter's floor, every, every, day.

Upon the dresser were all of the t
hings that belong on a dresser. Not slippers, gum wrappers, old school work and the like.
My brain is in a whirl. I can't help but wonder if I am truly awake.
I mean I did see Katie Rose leave for school, or did I?

The girl I saw looked different. Not only was her hair different,
but she didn't say anything at all. Not even a grunt. I must admit that I
have been very tired lately but surely I would have noticed
a switch, don't you think?

You be the judge. Does this look like an ordinary teenage girl's
bedroom to you ?

After a bit of time went by and the shock wore off, a few things crossed my mind. I did feel very proud of the nice job that she did without
me having to repeat, clean your room, clean your room,
over and over, day after day.

Then I started to think of something else. Katie Rose's birthday is December 12 th. Yes perhaps she is trying to be the model teen between now and then. She will most likely want a sleepover with several other noisy, giggly teenage girls.

Or perhaps it may be the worse thing of all.

She's becoming responsible.

Which would mean she is growing up.

Which would mean I won't have her for too many more years.

I am so hoping that she is angling for the sleepover!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

" Family, Food, Fun and Free Time !"

The first Saturday after Thanksgiving. I trust that everyone had a
full-filling Thanksgiving Day. We certainly did even though I was sick the entire week before, I managed to feel good enough to go to our son's house for a delicious dinner.

My son Frank with his wife Amy, cooking t
We had a buffet style dinner and kept trying to push
each other out of line.

Typical for our family!

I am still not feeling quite up to par but it's alright as I have the day alone and intend on just relaxing the rest of the day. My husband, unwillingly of coarse, left for work today and Katie left to spend the night at a friends house.

To think that they left me alone with chocolate chip brownie's, pecan pie, whipped cream and a vanilla pudding cake. Apparently they tr
ust me ! Fortunately I have no sweet tooth what so ever today. I did make a huge batch of turkey salad for sandwiches this morning. So that is what I will have for dinner and Jake had plenty
to take with him over the road.

I had a few surprises on Thursday. One of which was my grandson's , baby Jack's,
vocabulary which has grown immensely these past few weeks. He warmed my heart on Thanksgiving Day as he repeatedly requested more green beans. Very clearly I might ad. It seems that he has reached the parrot stage of his growth and tries to repeat everything.

Here we have my soon to be 15 year old, Kate, making dessert while talking
on the phone ! Would you expect anything less from a teenager?

After dinner we had the privilege of listening to a lovely concert put on by our granddaughter Sarah . She was a bit nervous but more aggravated as her little brother, Jack, kept trying to steal her guitar away !
Sarah will be seven years old in less than two weeks and I am having a difficult
time accepting the fact of how fast time flies!

The second surprise came when my mother gave to me my grandmothers lovely set of inlaid silverware. It is beautiful. I have been trying to decide weather or not to use it.
Yet I can hear my grandmother saying "Oh honey just go ahead and use it, that's what it's for!". It is tucked away for now as I will continue to ponder this for awhile.

Below is a photo of a photo of my grandmother who was an extraordinary woman
who I miss everyday. For many years of my life she was the one who made the Thanksgiving Day dinners. My mother and I were talking about those special memories on Thursday.

I truly cherish all of the things that I have that belonged to my Grandmother

I managed to decorate the house for Christmas while I was sick. I don't know how I found the strength to do it, but I just kept pushing on. It all looks quite nice, despite that fact that I did it through splitting headaches and nausea!

I am quite proud of this doily as it is the first and only "Fillet crochet" that
I have ever made. It has angels on all four sides as well as "Hosanna".

I also managed to make it to church this morning as there was work that needed to be done. I snapped a couple of photos while I was there.

This one was taken from inside the "Matthew" classroom a
s I was copying off the bulletins. You can see the screen in the window !

I think that you can see by the bags under my eyes how well I've been feeling.
Gosh I look horrible !

One more photo I took driving by church today after I dropped Kate off at her friends house.

The rest of my day I plan on resting and perhaps cutting some more squares for baby Jacks quilt. I have quite a bit of cute fabric leftovers for it and am excited to start sewing it. I think it's going to turn out well.

I do hope that you all had a great Thanksgiving.
Despite not feeling well I did manage to enjoy
Family, food, fun and now some free time !

Bless you all.

Monday, November 23, 2009

" Thanksgiving Day " by Diana

The turkey is being trussed,
the pies are being planned.

A day of gratitude
will soon spread over
this land.

The hams will be hot,
the rolls steaming too.

Mom and dad will be busy,
what will you do?

Some will be rooting
for their favorite team.

I will be praying for
the ham to be lean.

Sweet potatoes or mashed potatoes
with gravy on top.

It's all so good,
but now I must stop.

Whats that you say?
Pumpkin pies on the way!

So much for the diet,
tomorrows another day.

Hugs and kisses,
so many abound.

Grandmas and grandpas,
are always around.

Prayers of thanksgiving
is why we are here.

We'll see you again,
same time next year.

I wish everybody a wonderful and loving
Thanksgiving Day!

Love Di

Thursday, November 19, 2009

" Helloooo , Can Anybody Hear Me ? "

Wow it's so quite . Can anybody hear me ? Helloooooo....
Alright I guess everyone is out turkey hunting .

I'm busy too you know , and I managed to blog today !
Well truthfully I'm
not busy at all.

I didn't do much today really . I went and wo
rked out first thing or I would
have ended up not going at all. And then I went to church to do a little office work.

While I was there this morning one of our senior members stopped by for some
information about some things and then he just wanted to chat.
This man is so sweet and honestly I have never met more of a gentleman in my life.

He is widowed , twice , and has nothing but wo
nderful words and fond memories of his late wives. He is one of the sweetest people I have ever had the privilege to meet.

My DIL Amy , who also cleans houses , cleans this gent
leman's house. She's been cleaning for him for a few years now and also has grown fond of him.

I don't know of anyone who dislikes this gentleman or can say a bad word about him.

His short term memory is pretty poor . He often writes everything down in his little notebook. I don't think that he remembers my name most of the time, even though
we've known him for several y
We invited him to our home after Katie's confirmation th
is past April. He loves to eat and will go just about anywhere for a meal. He happily excepted the invitation and had lunch and dessert at our home.

He told me today that he was seeing a woman. I was a bit speechless for a moment but not surprised. Companionship is something that he longs for as he is lonely.

He told me that while he was enjoying her company, it just didn't feel right.
That made me sad . All he really needs is some food and some loving.

My DIL and I were talking about this today on the phone . I think that she was somewhat surprised by his news as well. He had told her about this woman
he was seeing a while ago.

He told my DIL that when he tried to kiss her , she turn
ed her face and gave him her cheek! Poor dear . I did feel for him.
And than he told my DIL that for a $60.00 dinner, he would have at least liked to have had a decent kiss!

Again I am speechless. What can you say to that! I didn't ask Amy what she said to him about it but now I wish I would have!

I am happy for him even if the companionship only lasts for a little while.

This was the highlight of my day today.

The low point of the day came after Katie came ho
me from school.
As with any day after school, the first thing that Katie does when she gets home
is walk the dogs.

She put Roxy's leash on and went out the back door only to turn around and walk right back in the kitchen where I was cooking. I instantly knew that something was wrong. I heard her say " Mom I can't walk the dog, I just fell.".

O.K. first of all I was very impressed that she managed
to hang on to the leash through the fall . She was so quite about the whole thing. I didn't think that it was
a big deal until I saw the blood dripping from her chin!

Then she started to panic from the sight of the blood as we made our way to the bathroom. She was a bit shook up.

She hit her chin so hard on the concrete
that not only did it take a good size chunk of flesh out
of her chin, but it hurt her jaw and ears from th
e force of the fall.

Of coarse I was out of peroxide , antibacterial cream and band-aides.
We cleaned it with soap and water. It looked pretty bad but not bad enough for stitches. I did have some gauze and tape on hand so we patched it up with that.

After I got her settled down a bit, I went to the store to replenish my first aid kit
and we redid her chin. I even bought the clear band-aides so that it wouldn't be so noticeable. She is doing fine now. Chatting away .

I do think that it may leave a bit of a scar , but it is situated such that
it won't be noticeable.

It is Thursday evening and it is almost 8
You know what that means don't you ?

It's almost time for "Grey's Anatomy" !
I know that I am not the only one out there who watches this so I am going
to finish this up so we can watch it.

I do hope that you all have found the perfect turkey.
If you haven't as yet , Happy Hunting !

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

" Hi , Come on In !! "

Where there are friends .
there is joy...

Well Hello !
Come on in .

It's Tuesday morning and I suppose that I should be busy doing
household chores and such . But I'm not . No here I am w
ith you !
There are many things that need to be done around here but I simply chose to put my feet up , grab a cup of coffee and have a chat w
ith you all .

I did manage to leave the house this morning however .
My bank made a little faux pas with my checking account . Isn't this wonderful news?
Really , I am being totally serious . It wasn't me this time !
There is still hope for my aging brain , I can
still add and subtract .

The lovely ladies at the bank realized there mistake as they were exactly the amount over on their count last night . Why this is a cause
for celebration !
So I went and worked out . Two mornin
gs in a row .

Miracles do happen after all ! So to reward myself , here I sit visiting with you.
There couldn't be a better r

I will get up and do some things that need to be done when we finish our coffee.
I have already trimmed the long threads on Katie's frayed denim quilt this morning,
and then I threw it on her bed. O.K. first of all I washed and dried it
three times and it still has not frayed enough. It certain
ly doesn't look like the one in the photo from the internet . Am I surprised ? Not really .
But it really doesn't look too bad and Katie loves it . That's the most important thing.

I also haven't put a backing on it yet as that requ
ires a 40 mile trip and some extra cash. The latter of which I do not have , so I will put a backing on it in a few weeks.
This is the photo of the one that I got off of the internet.

I will post the photo of mine next . Yes you can clearly see that I am an amateur.
The squares don't appear even because it hasn't frayed completely .
I have a feeling that's going to take several more washings !
This was my very first attempt at a quilt. It was pretty easy so I am moving on to another one for my grandson Jack. I will not be doing another frayed one however.

It is a cold and rainy day here today . The thought did occur to me that at this time last year we had our first few flurries already. This November has been unseasonably beautiful this year. I am done going out for the day.
Tomorrow the work days start !

Tomorrow I have to go clean my peoples basement in preparation for their
Thanksgiving dinner this coming Sunday . Thursday I will be working at church .
Friday I will clean my peoples upstairs of their house in preparation for their Thanksgiving dinner . And then Saturday morning I will be filling in at "Curves"
for a few hours.

So it will be a busy week for me. This is why I thought that we needed some time to chat ! Oh dear my coffee has gotten cold . I guess that I talked to much. I must apologize for not letting you get a word in edgewise, it is a bad habit of mine.
One of which I am constantly trying to rectify !

One last thing before you go that I would like to mention. As you may or may not know, times have been very lean for us around here lately . I was in desperate need of a haircut as my hair grows very fast.

You know what they say about desperate times and all , right ? Well I decided to let my 14 year old have a go at cutting my hair . Hey , I figured if she messed it up I could just wear my bandannas until my hair grew out .

I told her that I wanted it VERY short otherwise I have to get it cut every three to four
weeks . So I gave her my good pair of hair cutting shears and let her have at it !
Was I nervous ? You bet . But I just kept reminding myself how fast my hair grows.

It took her an hour . It was a nice hour . We had a wonderful mother daughter
talk. I learned many more things about her and she learned many more things about me . It was a pleasant hour yet an itchy one.

And here are the results........

I think it came out pretty good . Maybe I won't have to go out for a cut anymore.
It feels great .

So there you have it . I would love to talk with you some more over coffee but I'm afraid I must get busy now . This house doesn't run itself you know !

I'm so glad that you stopped by . We must do this again soon !

Note : I tried to post this in the morning but Blogger said no.
So just pretend it's Tuesday morning k ?

Sunday, November 15, 2009

" Finally , Finally , Finally ! "

It has been a long time coming, well at least it feels like a long time .
Today was THE best day that I have had in over a month !

If you read my previous post you will find that this past month has been ,
for lack of a better word , Crazy !

I also haven't been feeling well at all for a few weeks , what with the strep throat , constant headaches and just feeling very strange the past few weeks ,
I was beginning to wonder if I was having medication foibles.

Actually I was a bit scared that it might be something more serious.
However when I woke up this morning I felt wonderful.
This really eased my mind as I was dreading a visit to the doctor and
the inevitable tests.
I am thinking that I may have just had a touch of the flu.

Since I was feeling so good this morning I decided to go back to work on Katie's
Frayed Denim Quilt. My first try at quilting. I worked diligently on it for seven hours
and managed to get it done. It is at this moment being frayed in the
washer and dryer. I will post a photo of it after it's on her bed.

Katie is very happy with it and now wants matching pillow cases.
I agreed but only after I make one for baby Jack, my grandson.
I'd like to have his done for Christmas.

In between all of this quilting I did manage to make Katie and I a few good meals.
My only regret for the day was that I didn't attend church .
Today was the first day in over a month that I didn't have to leave the house to work
or run errands. I actually stayed in my P.J.'s all day!
I missed going to service but I so enjoyed the relaxing day.

I even was able to listen to some Christmas music while quilting.
This was like being in heaven for me today.
Why even my teen was in good spirits and we enjoyed our girl time today as well.

As an added bonus, my son , daughter-in-law and my grandson stopped by
for a visit. Pinch me I am dreaming!

The day has drawn to an end now. Katie has just went to bed and the dogs are
asleep. The house is clean, the quilt is done and I am feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

I do believe the Lords face has shined down upon me today.
Oh and by the way, I am finishing up this wonderful day by watching
" The Wizard of Oz " !

I can't remember the last time that I had such a good day.
I am feeling very grateful right now.
Thank you Lord!

Goodnight and God bless us one and all !

Friday, November 13, 2009

" I'm Baaaaaack ! "

And aren't I lovely as ever !
Wow that was one long month.
Shingles , bacterial cellulitis , Strep throat twice , hospital stays , outpatient visits , inoculations , dealing with insurance companies
( isn't that always fun !) , filling out forms , faxing , waiting for checks ,
cooking , cooking and more cooking , cleaning , laundry , working ,
praying , not sleeping much , pharmacy visits , more cleaning ,
cheering up , more cleaning , more praying ,
well you get the idea and I am absolutely positive that I have left something out !

I've been busy. What can I say ?
Today I dropped my husband off at his truck . For the first time in one month . I am still praying for him . And I miss him already .
That part never goes away . However I am enjoying my alone time right now . My daughter Katie has company so she doesn't care if I am here or not right now .

Something else that's been on my mind today . It was one year ago today that I had my first stroke followed by a second "mini " stroke in February. I didn't want to mention it really but it's just there .
I try not to think about it much and I try not to worry about it happening again , but the simple fact is that I do .

It is the reason that I started my blog per my Daughter Ginny's
advice . I do believe she was trying to get me to relax .
Thank you dear .

It's hard not to think of it when there has been all of this stress floating around lately . But here I am , one year later , one year older and perhaps most importantly , one year the wiser for it .

And that is all that I want to say about that day .

Yes this past month for us has been challenging to say the least.
It has been very stress filled and full of worry .
Worry is something that we all need to avoid .

Matthew 6:27
"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

It's not quite as easy as it sounds at times. But my husband and I
continually remind each other of these words .

And while I know that our stress and worry will continue
over the next few months , and maybe even years ,

I am here today and I am alive .
For this alone I am grateful.

I am back.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

" The Autumn Of Her Life " by Diana

The wind was cold and dry as it brushed against her cheeks .
And even though she quickly felt the shiver of the wind flow over and around her skin,
It felt wonderful . It felt refreshing .
It made her feel alive .

The moon hung low in the sky,

glowing in beautiful warm shades of amber.

It was the harvest moon .
To her , it was the most splendid moon of the year .

She closed her eyes beneath the moonbeams
and she could hear the yellow, orange a
nd red leaves
rustling past her silhouette.

One or two of the dried leaves touched her skin as she took
a very deep breath .

She imagined what the warm flames of the wood fire looked like
that someone unknown to her had lit in their fireplace.

That inviting scent mixed with the smoky scent of burning leaves
lingering in the air , filled her lungs and brought a smile to her face.

And while all of this was a special treat to her senses, she was getting colder now and realized that she would soon have to go back inside.

These magical days of this season were fleeting now
as were the magical years of her life .

The days grew shorter as did the yea

Yes she was getting colder now as well as older.
It was time to come in out of the chill to warm her body .

But her mind would always remain warm filled with the thoughts
and feelings of this beautiful season
and this beautiful life.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

" An Experiment In Delirium "

If you are in fear of catching a virus or bug of the human kind ,

via the internet stop reading now !

I am doing an experimental post today. I ca
n not think properly so I am curious as to what the absence of my usual thought process will produce.

Let us see shall we ?
Follow me , or at least try.

My husband and I had thought that Katie was
getting better but then we discovered that we were wrong . Katie has strep throat again .
She is taking antibiotics , drinking tons and tons of water and sleeping.
And when she is not sleeping she is trying to make me laugh , those hysterical fits of laughter , or she is being a snotty !#! teenager .

It's really pretty outside . I am freezing . No fever , my skin is ice cold .
I keep getting bad headaches .
It's strange . I am having pretzels and a di
et coke for lunch .
I really don't feel like eating . Besides whenever I do i
t sounds as though
there is a miniature lion in my intestines (int
estines pronounced with a long - I , as I like it that way ) roaring and roaring .

Jake is feeling well enough to take care of K
atie and I . At least good enough to walk the dogs and fix food .

And I just got through telling him that he didn't have to be such an ass when I told him that we had buns for his pot roast sandwich.
He was having it on an English muffin. I was trying to be nice .

I am tired of being nice . I am tired period . I think that I am cranky too as I have just yelled at Katie and Jake again. I don't deal with being sick at all. It makes me angry because I don't want to just sit here and do nothing . That is stupid .

And I don't want anyone taking care of me . It makes me feel like I have a slave . I don't want and I don't need a slave . As a matter of fact ,
unless I start having to vomit I am not going to have people taking care of me. It's ridiculous .

I am feeling angry . I should just go upstairs to my apartment and be alone. Yes I think that is an excellent idea .

I was supposed to meet at the coffee shop with my daughter-in-law today. Since she has had baby Jack we haven't really had time alone to talk. I had to cancel . This really didn't s
it well with me.

Yes I am an angry woman today.