Saturday, February 23, 2013

" Why I've Been Gone."

Gosh I know I've been gone for a while and I haven't visited anyone's blogs. There's no need for concern, everything is going fine here just very busy.

It took some time for me to get Kate back to good health since she moved back home. She is doing well now. I think she is even getting over her first heartbreak which we all know is really tough. But I think we've got her back on track, at least I hope and pray.
It was a rough and rocky road for a while.

So much has been going on here and I just haven't had time to do much online and when I do, I've been doing word search puzzles. I love them. Always have. When I do them, I think of nothing else which we all need sometimes. Mindless work. 

I've had the grandkids every other weekend which has been fun yet I realize how much energy they take from me. It makes me realize why we have children when we're young!! They seem to be doing fine. My son's divorce will be final the end of March. He and my DIL are now on good terms with each other, Thank God. We are all getting along and my DIl will always be in my life. I love her so much despite the problems that they've had. They have been together for 17 years so she has always been a daughter to us and will always be.

My oldest daughter landed a new job recently as a web manager at a major video game company but doesn't seem to be happy there. The company has great benefits and perks but she isn't comfortable with it. She has some thinking to do for sure. I miss her so, so much. I don't even know when we'll see each other again as we've all been so busy. She lives in North Carolina and we in Illinois. 

My husband is totally burnt out on his job but still he carries on. There is nothing that I can do for him which is a nightmare for me because all I ever want to do is help people. My Pastor tells me that I cannot help everyone. That people have to make their own choices and all that we can do is be supportive. Yet it's so hard for me to disassociate from his feelings. I have to for my own good however as his stress also effects me.

I had my six month check up recently and everything was pretty good. I have lost about eight pounds in the past two months and my cholesterol has dropped to a manageable number, FINALLY!!!!! However my I.B.S. has been acting up more than ever before. Doc gave me some medication for it. I had a horrible bout last week. Lots of pain. Doc thinks it's all stress related which I agree with. On a good note, I am weaning off of the antidepressants that I've been on since Kate moved back home.
As I said before, it was a really rough time. But now Kate is making me laugh constantly! And she cooks like a seasoned chef.
I am happy to have her back home. I am happy to see my Kate back.

Here's where my most recent stress point is coming from.
Kate and I are redoing her entire room. It was in such BAD shape. Lots of holes to patch. Trim to remove. Lots and Lots and Lots of sanding. Fitting that all in between working two jobs and taking care of this old house that is falling apart, getting my daughter back on track, well lets just say, it's been a bit of a challenge.

We are almost done sanding, almost. Then we have to wash the walls and ceiling. Prime and paint. Not to mention she has lots of furniture she wants to paint to match the room. The fact that she's 18, doesn't stop her from wanting a princess room. What a challenge. Anyway we have exactly 20 days until school starts.

We are both taking C.N.A. (Certified Nurses Assistant) classes. Here I am at almost 55, starting a career that I wanted 20 years ago. I've always dreamed of becoming a nurse. I actually took my college entrance exams 19 years ago to become an L.P.N. (Licensed Practical Nurse) . Then I found out I was pregnant with Kate. Which was a miracle as Jake and I gave up after five years of trying to have a baby together. 

So I had my miracle baby after a long hard pregnancy at 36. I had to stay in bed for the last six months of the pregnancy because of blood pressure problems and gestational diabetes. I was so sick that they didn't know if I would make it, or Kate.

So as many head and heart aches that she has given me over the years, well, I still feel blessed. But now it's my turn to do something. Menial as it may be. If I can become a C.N.A. it will help our family. I may not make it to nursing classes, but if I can pass this, I will be proud of myself and Kate. Kate wants to go on to become a P.A. (Physician's Assistant)   Well at least for now .
We will see. 

So I hope you can understand why I haven't been around much. Life has just taken over for now. I can tell you this much though, I will be back and I will visit soon!!

Love Di ♥

Thursday, February 14, 2013


It's my blog and I'll blog what I want to! 

I looked up the definitions of "Retain" and "Retention". Neither one struck my fancy. In my my mind, at this very moment, "Retention" is a scary word to me. 

I've recently signed up for C.N.A. (Certified Nurses Assistant) classes with my Katie girl. There is a two fold reason for this. 

#1 - Katie needs some back-up.

#2- I've wanted to be a nurse for over twenty years. I've been to afraid to take the classes. 

#3- In the state of Illinois, you must pass this class before you can go on to the L.P.N. (Licensed Practical Nurse) class. Which is much more difficult and expensive.

#4- "Retention". I will be 55 in April. I don't even know how much my brain can retain. It's been almost 40 years since I've been in school.

#5- The L.P.N. class is nine months long. And the tuition is much higher the the C.N.A. class.

#6- I am scared.

#7- I am excited.

#8- I am tired already.

#9- I think I can do this.

#10- I'm sorry that I haven't visited you.

#11- My daughter has consumed my life.

#12- I am taking these classes for myself as I am so, so tired of thinking of everyone else.

#13- Please pray for "Retention". As I truly don't know at this point in my life, how much I can retain at one time.

#14- My life has been so busy that I don't know when I'll blog again.

#15- I love and miss you all...

Love Di ♥