" Eating Glass "

My Thrusday was filled with adventure. Strange adventure. A series of unordinary events. Quite frankly it was such an unusual day that I do not wish to embark to the madness of it all. I do feel however that there was one particular event that warrents a mention. Eating glass.

Oh don't be so dramatic, I didn't actually eat the glass but through the grace of God, I do believe that I was saved a trip to the emergency room.

Today I started back on a job that I did for three years. I cleaned house for this wonderful family. I truely loved this job as this family is a gracious and warmhearted bunch. I quit cleaning for them this past February after I had a second stroke. I'm alright but felt that it might be a good idea to lessen my work and stress load at the time.

Due to the wonderful state of our recent economy, my family is struggleing so I asked this wonderful family if they might be interested in my services again. Well apparently they missed me and were more than happy to have me back. Really they are like family to me.

So today was my first day back and I, as I had expected, had some catching up to do. I won't go into detail but needless for me to say, I was exhauseted when I came home. Everything hurt from my head to my toes. Before I came home I stopped and picked up a couple of frozen pizza's. You know I detest cooking right?

As I laid back in my recliner , Katie cooked the pizza's. Will wonders never cease? After we had our pizza. I asked Katie in my sweet, I am exhausted, I would jump in front of a train for you voice, " Honey, would you mind getting mommy a little dessert bowl of birthday cake ice cream?", " Just one scoop please. "

Yeah this is good now. I am streached out in my recliner. Get that picture in your brain. I take my glasses off. I close my eyes as I await the return of my Katie with my beautiful little cut glass bowl of my very favorite flavor of birthday cake ice cream. I know it's not really going to help the soreness that I am feeling, but I thought the sugar might be a little lift. Spiritually.

My Katie can be so sweet at times. And then she can be Linda Blair from "The exorsist " at other times. This time she was being sweet when I heard the shattering crash. Alright now I now some of you ladies have sensitive ears but I must be truthfull when I tell you what went through my head. " Oh Shit, she broke a bowl and she is going to freak out and not know what to do.". Remember people I am in great soreness here. " Oh God please let her handle this for once, I don't want to walk anymore."

About one minute goes by. " Uh mom, I broke a bowl."
Mom replies, "Well clean it up honey."
I am hearing the broom and other sounds, no more words from Katie. This is good. Maybe she is finally figureing things out on her own.

After about two minutes (To clean broken glass that shattered all over the kitchen) she sheepisly arrives in the living room with another little cut glass dessert bowl filled with one scoop of my very favorite birthday cake ice cream. " Thank You sweetheart for being so good to me today." She hands me the bowl.

Kids change quickly. It's possible that she actually was able to get all of the glass cleaned up and this is my reward. A once again clean kitchen and a nice little cut glass bowl of birthday cake ice cream. This is exactly what I need. Rest and a little sugar.

If you've never had birthday cake ice cream I will explain what it is. The base is vanilla, my favorite flavor, it has swirls of red and blue iceing with little chunks of red and blue iceing through out. These little chunks are very similar to white chocolate only colored. They melt in your mouth. To me the ice cream taste is very reminisent to cotton candy. Another favorite flavor of mine.

I dip my spoon into my pretty little cut glass bowl. I don't like big bites. So It was a small dip. Right away I noticed little chunks of red and blue iceing on my spoon. Mmmm. I already can feel it melting slowly in my mouth. I do believe my first chunk on my spoon was red. I'm pretty sure but I am quite exhaused you know. I open my mouth in anticipation. Everything seems to taste better when someone else fixes it for you. As I lay the spoon on my tounge and slowly slide it back out of my mouth, ( Is it me or is this starting to sound like soft porn?) I got a little chunk of iceing along with my ice cream . Perfect!

These little chunks sort of melt in your mouth. I was going very slowly as I wanted to savor not devour my little cut glass bowl of birthday cake ice cream. This particular chunk is not melting properly. I stop moving the muscles in my mouth. I don't know where they came from but all of a sudden I heard alarms. WARNING, WARNING, spit it out, spit it out. I reached in my mouth for what I thought was supposed to be a smooth chuck of iceing from my birthday cake ice cream and what do I discover? You got it ! A nice sized piece of glass!

I'd say it was about one carrot if it were a diamond. Too bad for me it wasn't. " Thank you Jesus, for letting me be so careful as to discover this piece of glass before I chewed and swalled it." In the meantime I can feel at least two shards of glass in my mouth. Rinse and spit. Rinse and spit. Rinse and spit. I am fine . However my mouth does feel a little raw. I did look for blood a couple of times as it felt as though it could be bleeding.

What was Katie doing you ask? She was standing right beside me with a very concerned look on her face. I told her that it wasn't her fault and that she didn't do anything wrong. Relief sweap over her face.

You know the old saying " No rest for thr wicked" ? Well call me wicked because I no longer had a taste for ice cream. We had to go into the kitchen to investigate the crime scene. I loved Columbo. Remember Columbo? Upon investigation I discovered that the little cut glass bowl dropped on the counter, not the floor. And of coarse the half gallon container of birthday cake ice cream was on the counter at the time of the dropping. We investigated the half gallon very carefully and concluded that it was not contamidated. The counter and the floor however needed several more wipings and several more sweepings.

How did the glass get into my bowl you ask? Well upon further investigation I discovered that the scoop that fell on the floor looked clean to Katie. so It was put back into the new bowl. My earlier conclusion that Katie might be starting to know what to do when something goes wrong was somewhat shot down. But she tried. And she recieved a new lesson about broken little cut glass bowls.

The morals of this story.
1. When you think that you will be able to relax, think again.
2. When you think that your young teen might finally be getting what you've been trying to teach them for the past however many years, think again.
3. If you think that you can be Columbo and figure out all of the facts, try and do it when you are not sooo exhausted.

This message was brought to you by parents trying to teach their teens how to live on their own.