" A Very Strange Day "

I really couldn't possibly think of a better title to this post. I tried, but that's the best that I could do.

I have been pretty sick all week. He (the Doctor dude) says it's an upper respiratory/sinus thing. When he looked in my throat he actually said ''Eww!". Nice. Not that I wasn't already feeling like total crap. At least I was able to attain some antibiotics. I have been struggling to breath and every time that I cough my left lung hurts. As I type this all that I can hear really well is an incessant humming in my ears.

I know, we have all felt this horrible from time to time, when all that we can do is helplessly watch the clock tick away waiting for the moment when we start to feel like our self again.

So why am I blogging about not feeling well ? It is because of what I had to do today. Regardless of how horrible I was feeling , I HAD TO DO THIS!

Today was the last day that my son, daughter-in-law, brother and I were to meet at my mother's house to finish packing her belongings and getting the last of the furniture moved. It's been forty-four days since mom passed away.

There was no way that I was going to stay home when I knew there was more of mom's things that I needed , yes , needed around me. We had been there at least four times previously , sorting , picking and packing.

I had taken so many of mom's things. Things that I put out all around my house. Things that I knew she would have wanted me to have. Mom had a lot of things. Everyone took some of mom's things. It was all fairly diplomatic indeed.

The first two weeks after mom's death was overwhelming to say the least. But we made it through. All of the things that we had brought home , I had very slowly and gently unpacked , piece by piece , as if each and every piece were a precious jewel.

Seeing those precious jewels those first few weeks was also very , very hard for me. I found myself wondering if I had done the right thing by putting everything around the house so soon. My husband also questioned my judgment on this as he would catch me holding something or looking at something that would make me cry.

So I would look . And I would hold . And I would read . All of mom's precious jewels . All of the things that were meaningless to others . As the weeks went by these same things that made me cry in pain as my heart felt broken , now gave me much comfort .

So much so that I HAD TO DO THIS today. I didn't think that I would be able to go back there again. But I did . It took me three hours to get myself together breathing heavily from this infection. But I did it. And I am glad that I did. My mind is at peace now . And I found the one photo album that I couldn't find before. The one with my mom , dad and me at Disneyland when I was seven. Mom was going to give it to me but kept forgetting to look for it .

Don't worry now mom , I found it .