Diana's Household Diaries "The Adult Child "

I know I said I would post about floor cleaning this week and my OCD issues that go along with that but things change and they can change quickly.

Being a housewife or Household Engineer as I like to refer to the insurmountable tasks that go along with this Godly union, isn't all about cleaning.

Our jobs consist of many. One of which if we are fortunate enough to be blessed, is that of mother. I'd like to touch on that just a bit this week. No photos today just a cup of coffee and some thoughts.

Becoming a parent is and was the most exciting moments in my life. Each time being different of coarse, some easier then others. I'm not going to talk about the care and feeding of these wonderful babe's that are now adults. 

When I was much younger, before having children of my own, I remember people saying that you never stop worrying about your children even when they are long gone from the household. 

This couldn't be more true.

We nurture, love and teach our children the best that we can until that day comes. You know the day I am speaking off. The day they leave the nest.

I have one adult child that has been out of the house for fifteen years now. Another that's been gone for twelve years.

And yet another that is already making her plans for that day. Which probably isn't that far off.

I think that day will be the hardest for me. I will be alone.

My husband is only home on the weekends so I will be alone. But that's not what this is about. I do enjoy my own company, and I am sure that I can find things to fill my time with.

Today I am talking about the adult child that has run into hard times, road blocks, or deep pain.

Next to the teenage years, I find this to be the most difficult to deal with. What do we do?

We talk to them of coarse and hope that they are forthcoming with their feelings and emotions but this may not always be the case.

Matthew 6: 25-34 tells us we are not to worry. And while I read this over and over, and have actually come very close to mastering this, still I cannot help but worry about my children and the problems that they face.

When it comes to our children, worry is common place for many of us. Yet there does come a time when we must realize that we have done our jobs, hopefully, the best that we possibly could have through he years. And I'm sure that I'm not just speaking for myself when I say, I could have done better. But I hate "What if's" or "If only's".

I know I wasn't a perfect parent but I also know that I did the best that I could through each stage of my life. 

If I were physically capable of starting the whole process over now at 54 instead of then at 20, I'm sure I could have done a better job but that wasn't God's plan for me so I have to be satisfied with the knowledge that I have done the very best that I could have over the years.

So what does a parent do when an adult child is going through a painful situation or difficult choice? I find that it can be very difficult not meddling or giving my opinions freely. But I don't. 

Only when asked. I never try to tell them what they should do. They are adults and must decide what to do for themselves. I help if I can. But it's difficult when we can't.

I have offered my past experiences to them. I have told them that I have felt that pain. I have told them that this too will change and so will they.

Most importantly I have stressed to them that living life one day at a time, if  mastered, makes things much easier.

And I have told them to petition the Lord in prayer. After all, when it comes right down to it, God is in charge and as hard as it may be to see, ultimately, he won't let them down. It's the not knowing part that's hard to deal with. And the waiting. But sometimes it's just best to stop, step back and wait rather then make hasty decisions.

I firmly believe that the answers to all of our problems are in God's hands and will be revealed to us eventually.

Worry doesn't help. It does nothing but it can make you sick. I pray for my children everyday.

I wouldn't be truthful if I didn't say that there are days when I just want to stay under the covers all day. But for me I have found the best "Get things out of my head therapy" is to clean.

I've done a lot of that this week. And I have more planned for today. It helps me. I don't think my children have inherited this from me. Well maybe my son. 

So things around the "Household" haven't been going very well although things can always be worse. This post is a "venting" one for me.

I will sum up by saying that I guess all that we can really do for our adult children when they are going through hard times is to be there for them when they need us. And pray. Pray a lot.

I'm interested in knowing how you deal with adult children in times of trouble.