" The Funniest Lunch I've Ever Heard !"

If you've been following along this week, you already know that Kate and her friend have been coming home for lunch everyday this week from school.


This year Kate and her friend are Sophomores in High School. At their school this means that they are allowed to go off campus at lunch time. 


And while Kate and her friend have the option to eat at school, well lets just say , that's not cool. You get it right? I remember what it was like to not be cool and so do you, at least I hope you do!


The truth is that we and Kate's friend can't afford to eat lunch out everyday. And honestly if we could, she wouldn't. It's not healthy and a waste of money.


Today I came across some cash. Don't worry, it was honest cash. I cleaned for it. I had promised Kate that I would give her money to go and eat out, this very first time in her whole entire High School career to date ! 


The problem came into play when we remembered that they have early outs every Thursday. Neither Kate nor I knew what time her "Early" lunch would be. So since I usually clean on Thursday and finish around 11:30, we were both a bit worried. 


Would I be able to finish early, me being the OCD house cleaner of the year?  What would they eat if I didn't finish in time? The cupboard is bare, unless "I" cook that is.

So the plan was that Kate would text me when she knew what time they would get out for lunch. I would hopefully be done cleaning by then and have time to run to the bank to cash my check. 

I was going to meet Kate and her friend and give them cash so that they could enjoy their very first, OFF CAMPUS, lunch.


In the four years that I have been cleaning for this family that I truly love, I have never, ever, gotten done this quickly. And I didn't miss a beat. I even washed the cabinets in the kitchen with Murphy's oil soap and polished them to a fine clean shine!


O.K. so now You've got the picture, don't you? I am sweaty, sore, really sore and tired. I am racing across town to cash my check as I call Katie to ask "Where and what time do you want me to meet you?".


I did it damn it, I cleaned that house to a perfect shine with my knee giving out, in less than three hours! I was going to make my Katie love me. 


Oh for crying out loud, I know she love's me! Please keep up, she is a fifteen year old girl!!!!

Her answer to my question, my call, my pain, my huge sacrifice was...

" We're not going out, it will take too much time. We are coming home."


Say what? W.T.F.? I am just thinking this now people, I'm not saying this to her. What do I do? The cupboard is bare. I have about 20 minutes to come up with something not to mention my knee is on it's last leg (No pun intended!).


So I drive like a mad woman. I mean really folks, I decided that I owned the town in order to get home and cook for my girls damn it!!!!


I risked life, limb ( Literally, LIMB.) to get home and whip something up. 


Now you might be thinking that I am a super mom or just crazy. Either way, you are right. 


When I arrived home, I peed, turned on the hot water, took my bra off, and got down to business. There was a box of generic mac and cheese in the pantry. I still had enough milk and butter, yea! And I still had some good smoked ham in the fridge!

I got that water boiling on my trusty gas stove sooner than you can say "I want pizza". Heated up that ham in the microwave and before you know it, boom, bam, zam, "Mac and Cheese with smoked ham"!


Now here's the funny part. The girls stand at the kitchen counter to eat. They don't sit down. I have tried to get them to sit in the dining room but that takes too much time away from socialization, so they stand, scarf, and leave. You with me so far?

So I have had their plates set on the counter, napkins with forks and drinks waiting. They must serve the food themselves as they don't want to see me!

Everything was ready, the food was warm and I even left a Hershey Kiss next to their plates.


This is when I go into the living room to Finally, FINALLY, put my feet up and call my husband. So my sweet man and I are having our usual conversation, when the dogs start barking. The girls are home for lunch.


They don't sat hello. They don't say hi. They don't say anything. 


I hear the pot being scraped.

As I am quietly having a husband wife conversation, what do I hear?


Forks. Forks scraping. Folks hitting correlle. Clink, clink, clink. Clank, clink, clink clank. Clank, clank, click... click, click clank, scrap. 


Clink. clink. Clank, clink, scrap, clink, clank,clink,clink.. clink.... clank...


If I knew Morris code, I swear that there was a story there.


Oh I know what they were thinking.

"Lets eat as fast as we can and get the hell out of here!"!


Was it worth the pain that I inflicted on myself? 


Your are damn right it was.


Do I know why?


Yes, someday I hope that they will appreciate me.


Was it worth it?


Well let me put it this way. Kate actually apologized for snapping at me today. That in it self is a major accomplishment to me.


And she has been actually been waiting on me tonight! Hot Damn!!!!!!


Perhaps there is hope after all. 


This story was told by the mom of a teenage daughter. 


Any resemblance to your own past or present teenage daughter is your own problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!