Friday, March 25, 2011

"Yet Another Sleepless Night "

This makes two in a row. I've awoke at 2:30 a.m. freezing and unable to fall back to sleep. Because of the warm weather on Wednesday I took my feather blanket off of my bed and exchanged it for a light weight quilt. I think that was part of the problem as I am usually too warm when I sleep, never freezing.
Than again I have developed a cough and was feeling a bit nauseous last night before bed so it is possible I suppose, that I may be coming down with something. Although for the most part except for lots of arthritic pain from this ailment and the changes in the weather, I've been feeling pretty good.
Now I will be very honest here. It is 3:51 a.m. and I have nothing better to do anyway! This is actually one of the reasons that I haven't been visiting blogs very much lately or even blogging myself, worry.
As I've stated before my husband has been having lots of problems at work. He has been there for almost nine years and this company has changed drastically in the past year or more. 
My husband, and I say this with absolutely no prejudice is an excellent employee with a perfect on time record. He has driven well over one million miles accident, incident and ticket free.
All that he wants is what is due him and that is 48 hours off for every 14 days out over the road. This doesn't seem at all unreasonable to us.
I will add that not even four days a month is enough time to be together to work on our marriage, visit grandchildren and children, fix things around the house and have time to relax. It just isn't.
But it is part of this truck driving world, one that we have grown to accept. Not perfect but we make due. 
Now as of late, the company isn't getting him home. He drives regionally which means under normal circumstances when it comes close to his time off week, they will keep him close to the house so that they can get him home for this weekend of the month.
Now all of a sudden after nine years they are saying that they have no freight that comes close to our house. We know this not to be true. He has been there long enough to know all of the companies that they haul for not to mention there are several large truck stops in our town in which I see his company trucks parked about eight out of the ten times I go to town every week. As a matter of fact, just two days ago I saw one of his company trucks bob-tailing (driving with no trailer) right down main street past our house! This only happens if you drop your trailer at a truck stop and are heading home.
My husband was told yesterday that if he wanted to get home from now on, he would have to park in East St. Louis and that I would have to drive there to pick him up and again to take him back to his truck.
This would put a major wear and tear on our car not to mention the cost of gas every other week.
We are both at our wits end to say the least. This has taken a huge toll on my husbands health and emotional well being. And of coarse the stress all trickles down to me as well. When he is miserable it is impossible for me to be happy and vice versa. 

Finding a new job isn't a problem. There are so many companies that need drivers and his record speaks for itself. He does prefer working for smaller companies and already has a few in mind. This isn't his problem.
The problem lies within. If you have given a company your all for nine years and they just don't care anymore, I imagine that is difficult to understand and deal with. He is feeling a great deal of frustration and anger as am I because of what I see that it's doing to him. I don't like it at all. And I feel as though there is nothing that I can do to help him. It has to ultimately be his decision weather or not to quit and I do believe that it's getting very close to that.
 I have always in the past with any of his endeavors,  assured him that I stand behind him no matter what his decision. Although the truth is that I feel like more of a burden on him now. He worries that if he leaves, no insurance will cover my knees and almost probable surgeries.

I told him that I didn't care, I just can't stand seeing him so miserable anymore. I have felt down many times from this debilitating pain and often times cannot walk. But I have thought about this often. I have wondered why I was stricken with this arthritis which I have in my hands, back, hips, knees and feet. I have but only one answer. I never let it get me down for long. Physically or emotionally and I believe that for whatever reason, God knows that I can handle this. I don't know if it's a test. I don't know what will eventually be in store for me, but I do know that my faith and trust in him allow me to deal with this constant pain.
What I do have trouble understanding and dealing with is what this "JOB" has done to my husband. He is a good man, a good provider, caring and loving. He also has lots of faith but it has been tested like never before for him.
I just want him to be happy, like he used to be. I would forgo surgery for that. Today he is going to try to speak to the company owner, if he is there while my husband is. I don't know what is going to happen but if it helps my husband feel better, I'll be waiting to get the call to come and get him.
I have prayed and prayed for something good to happen or even change for the better. So we shall see. It would be a little scary because of the unknown but change can also be good.
If I have learned anything at all in this life it is the fact that the only constant in life is change. So I am praying and ready.
Wish us well will you please? We could both use a few good nights sleep.


Rae said...

His treatment by the company sounds so wrong and so unfair. No wonder you can't sleep. It is a terrible situation. I understand how you feel. My husband went through something similar after being on his job for 30 years. He finally retired to escape, but it was gut wrenching for awhile. I hope your hubby is able to resolve his problem successfully.

Anvilcloud said...

What a difficult situation for the poor guy and for you! I almost suspect that they are deliberately making things difficult for you husband for some reason -- like they want to force him out. I'm sure there's no good reason for it, but that's what it seems like from your description. It's crazy that he can't get time off. Is there no board of transportation or whatever where he can appeal?

Geoff Maritz said...

Hello Di, God bless you my friend. Cling to what you believe is right and God will see you through.
As Anvilcloud said it sounds like they are trying to ease your hubby out but the truth is they are only interested in business and whatever is going on is for a reason. My advice to you, which you didn't ask for, is make it as expensive as possible for them to get rid of him, that way they may change their tune.
Love Geoff.


Hello Di ... It's really so sad & pathetic on part of the big employers to misuse & blackmail their old, senior & sincere employees. This phenomenon has now become a customary behavior of multinationals everywhere. Your insomnia & worries are justifiable in the prevailing circumstances but you should not loose hope, as you said many outlets are always available around you & don't hesitate in opting for one of them. It's always better for the whole family to find a peaceful work environment. The things will settle down for you the either way ... I sincerely hope and pray for your family.... Aameen ....

Erik's RV Blog said...


Amazing, I have been with my company going on 9 years and many things have changed for the worse here as well. In my profession (IT networking) the jobs have been shipped overseas or outsourced to the point of utter dilution where if I lose this job I'll end up getting hit with a 55% or worse cut in pay, if I can find another job in the industry.

In this industry 50 is death, nobody wants you because you're over-qualified for most of their positions or under "certified". They love their degrees and certifications and college kids can be paid much less and they are the ones getting the jobs.

Anyway, what is happening to your hubby is indicitive of how companies are run these days and it sucks, these comapnies have no long term vision anymore, it's all short term. The Government squeezes them, the company squeezes us and we take the brunt.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis in my knees and per my doctor it will spread as time goes by. I also have insomnia probably because of too much worry about everything but like you I get through it, I whine a bit on my blog to vent and lovely people like you stop by and make me feel better. :)

I will pray for it to work out for your hubby today as he talks to his boss and going forward as well. Who knows, maybe this is the stepping stone to something better. As one door closes most times a better one opens up, Ronda and I will pray for things to get better.


Ronda said...

My heart goes out to you and your husband Diana. I agree with the comments above. It does sound like they're trying to push him out. Nowadays, companies don't care about their people. I wish there was an easy answer, but I can't think of one. Just try and hang in there and hopefully he'll find another job. As far as your arthritis, the best I can do is pray for you, which I will. Take care and God bless. Ronda

Lois Evensen said...

It sounds as if there is a method to their madness. I hope it works out for both of you. We see so many signs on the backs of trucks saying "we want you to drive for us." Perhaps there is a better company out there for him.

Of course, I wish you both all the best.


Tablescapes By Diane said...

Hi lovely lady.
Yes sweet lady something good is going to Happen and we must always Believe this. I will pray for you Both, we are tested ever day in life. It will be better I know for you both. I hope you can get back to me sweet lady with some good news.~~~

Gail said...


I truly undertand how difficult the job situation is for Jake - Skipp just went through a similar situation. And one day I got that call you wrote about where he said "I'm coming home.....". I also truly understand your wonder about your illness as I too wonder about having MS - and I like you have faith and try not to question but at times such surrender is difficult. I will keep you and Jake in my prayers.
Love Gail

Bernie said...

This just isn't right Di, there must be someplace he can go to share his grievances in a fair way. No one enjoys being rejected and it almost sounds as though this is what they are doing.....I do hope you get a good nights sleep, am praying for you both.....:-)Hugs

Rick Watson said...

I'm slow to give advice, but I can tell you this - being miserable with your work, will eventually impact his health.
I'd start looking at other companies. The only reason I can think of where years of service count, is when companies honor seniority. If they don't then it may be time to move on and find a company that does.
Both of you, ake care.

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

Oh Honey, we had our own truckin' company and shut it down several years ago. We just couldn't afford the risin' gas prices. I know how hard it is to be home while your Honey is out on the road. I feel for your dilemma with the health care issues. That's one of the reasons Hubs holds down a job off the farm.

When our insurance rose to over a thousand a month we had to do something. Farm livin' isn't for the faint of heart, your lucky is ya have a profit line at all.

Ya know if one door closes God has something better for your Hubs. Sometime it takes longer than we like. Hubs was without outside employment for about 18 months and girl...we're no spring chickens!!!

I will pray for you both and God's leading in your life.

God bless and have a fantastic Friday!!!

Rebecca said...

No advice. Just praying really MUCH for you both.

Barb said...

I'm hoping Jake will get some answers speaking personally with his boss. When work is a strain, health deteriorates for the worker and the spouse. They share the stress. Perhaps a change is for the best. Hopefully, a new company will offer heath care. I was just reading today about state policies for existing conditions which are sometimes more reasonable than other types of coverage. You should look into that.

DeanO said...

Di - such a sorry and sad story. I feel bad for you but I know our God is bigger then any situation or problem this world can hurl our way. There is never an easy answer...sometimes God chooses to be silent, sometimes God's answer is a "better" yes then we could have ever imagined. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Sharon said...

Hi Diana,
I do hope you have heard some news by now, and are able to relax or work on it.

Warren Baldwin said...

Linked from Life 101. Yes, I will say a prayer on y'alls behalf. And good choice to entrust this to God. Sorry this is going on.

Eileen said...

Yes, Di, I will keep you and Jake and your intentions in my prayers. And I know exactly how you feel. Ray is going through some things on his job too. A company that was small at one time (which he helped to make a success), and now has grown and changed so much, with no consideration for the workers anymore. I know Gail and her husband have faced the same thing. It's just so unfair.
And I know the angst that you are feeling inside, and the frustration at not being able to make the situation right.

You are so good, Di, and deserve all good things. And I will pray for a good outcome.
Love you lots, Di ~ E

A Joyful Chaos said...

Sorry your husband is having problems with the company he works for. Hopefully it can be resolved.


Margaret Pangert said...

Hi Diana~ It seems to me that the trucking company hired someone to come in and analyze how to cut costs. This person may have discovered that the cost of fuel could be cut if the driver didn't take his truck home... If this is what happened, I would feel better than thinking the boss stabbed me in the back... One other thought I had was if--God forbid--your husband got laid off, he could collect Unemployment which has gone up from the old days plus you could get Medicaid insurance. Then, after picking yourselves up, you would both would be able to relax and sleep better. Your husband could look for a new trucking company in a comfortable way, without panic. You know you can turn to God, Diane; he is always there for us. Much love

Lena said...

thinking of you guys...
Lots of love! XXX

Amity said...

Hi Diana,

I feel so sad for you and ended reading this post of yours with a heavy heart...I could feel your pain, I could feel your struggles, I could feel how disappointed you are with the way your hubby's company is treating him and never accommodating his bargain in spite of the good track record he has for the past 9 years.

That's true when our better half is in trouble, we really are very much affected. I guess it demonstrates only how we truly love them and they are so dear to us.

I guess, God will know what's best. Just pray and ask Him that He will show you the right way, if you would have your hubby resign and find a new and more worthy job.

Re your health, I feel sad for you and I am at the same time alarmed for myself. For the past week my knee pain did not leave me...And it continued to be in pain. I guess I would see a doctor soon if the pain will continue.

Let us pray that the Lord will heal all our pains and worries in life so we can have a good night's sleep...Pray, only the best armour in times of problems, pains and distress is prayer my dear Diana...

Cheer up, I know God has something better in store for your hubby! Believe in God and He will do the rest!

I will pray for you dear!

Love and hugs,


Teresa said...

Oh Di, I am so sorry About what is happening. i will keep you and Jake in my prayers. I can not find the words to say that would make things right in your world. All I know is that God has a plan to give us a good future and a hope. Blessings to you!! (((hugs))))TT

Tranquility Speaks said...

I haven't worked very long Diana, but my previous organization didn't treat me well either, despite the fact that I was one of the top performers there. I wanted to be loyal to the company, but when they didn't care,we had to part ways. After me, so many people left and the department is closing down soon. If your husband's company does not care, then he should leave them. Maybe the next company that hires him will give him a better salary and benefits. Maybe it will come as blessing in disguise.

What is important is your knowledge of how good you are and how you can be an asset to any company you work for. With that knowledge, move on. With confidence.All will be well Diana. Please ask your husband to not worry. If his company is being unreasonable, then he belongs elsewhere. Where he will be treated with respect and like a human being.

Whatever happens, happens for good. Be as positive as possible. I shall pray everything works out well for both of you, and you both sleep like babies. Loads of love :)

Jilda said...

take care of yourself, am sending love and prayers for you both.
I would start asking friends, family,etc. about jobs and opportunities. I believe with all my heart there is a job waiting for him that will give him his worth.

jules said...

Oh Diana I feel for you and your hubby. We are feeling somewhat the same issues with my hubby's trucking job. He is working harder, gone from home more, all for a lot less money. Our corporate office is in Denver and a couple months ago he went there and had a long talk with the president. They promised things will be done better at the company. We will see....

He has worked at the same company for 22 years. I would think that would mean something to the people who run this company....I guess not.

How about our guys start their own company together??

Maria said...

God bless you, Diana...
As I write this, it is very late here in NY State...
I can only imagine why you have had difficulty falling asleep and then after, staying comfortable and resting soundly.
I will keep you and Jake in prayer... perhaps there will be some light at the end of this ... some better news that will be a relief to the stress of it all ♥ take heart... the world is a little messy now... but you are well surrounded by those who love you * there is much comfort in that ~

Ginnie said...

It seems to me that the entire world is running on greed and very little on loyalty and warmth.
It sounds like change could be a good thing. I've heard, and believe, that when one door closes another (and usually better one) opens. I pray it will be like that for the two of you.

Barb said...

I've been thinking of you and Jake, Di. Hope all is resolving, and you both are less stressed. It snowed in the city this morning and is snowing hard in the mts - guess CO's not ready for spring just yet.

Arlee Bird said...

I do wish you and your husband well. I'm sure this situation contributes a lot to your sleeping and other problems. The world of work in the U.S. no longer has the sense of loyalty and caring for employees that they once did and understandably so. A lot of companies are struggling to survive. I see it around where I live. So many businesses keep going under which doesn't give me much encouragement as I start into a 3rd year of unemployment.

Hope you guys come to a reasonable conclusion to your current situation.

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Wanda..... said...

Di, I so hope things are looking better job wise for Jake. Life can be disrupted by employers that don't seem to care. My husband was transferred out of state by GM and made it home only on weekends for years, but we lived through all the problems it presented. He ended up eventually taking an early retirement. My son-in-law just recently found a suitable job, after looking for over a year. The company he had worked for went under...times are difficult for many.

Hope you are sleeping better.
♥ Wanda

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