"Yet Another Sleepless Night "

This makes two in a row. I've awoke at 2:30 a.m. freezing and unable to fall back to sleep. Because of the warm weather on Wednesday I took my feather blanket off of my bed and exchanged it for a light weight quilt. I think that was part of the problem as I am usually too warm when I sleep, never freezing.

 

 

 

 

 

Than again I have developed a cough and was feeling a bit nauseous last night before bed so it is possible I suppose, that I may be coming down with something. Although for the most part except for lots of arthritic pain from this ailment and the changes in the weather, I've been feeling pretty good.

 

Now I will be very honest here. It is 3:51 a.m. and I have nothing better to do anyway! This is actually one of the reasons that I haven't been visiting blogs very much lately or even blogging myself, worry.

 

 

As I've stated before my husband has been having lots of problems at work. He has been there for almost nine years and this company has changed drastically in the past year or more. 

My husband, and I say this with absolutely no prejudice is an excellent employee with a perfect on time record. He has driven well over one million miles accident, incident and ticket free.

All that he wants is what is due him and that is 48 hours off for every 14 days out over the road. This doesn't seem at all unreasonable to us.

I will add that not even four days a month is enough time to be together to work on our marriage, visit grandchildren and children, fix things around the house and have time to relax. It just isn't.

But it is part of this truck driving world, one that we have grown to accept. Not perfect but we make due. 

 

Now as of late, the company isn't getting him home. He drives regionally which means under normal circumstances when it comes close to his time off week, they will keep him close to the house so that they can get him home for this weekend of the month.

 

Now all of a sudden after nine years they are saying that they have no freight that comes close to our house. We know this not to be true. He has been there long enough to know all of the companies that they haul for not to mention there are several large truck stops in our town in which I see his company trucks parked about eight out of the ten times I go to town every week. As a matter of fact, just two days ago I saw one of his company trucks bob-tailing (driving with no trailer) right down main street past our house! This only happens if you drop your trailer at a truck stop and are heading home.

 

My husband was told yesterday that if he wanted to get home from now on, he would have to park in East St. Louis and that I would have to drive there to pick him up and again to take him back to his truck.

This would put a major wear and tear on our car not to mention the cost of gas every other week.

 

We are both at our wits end to say the least. This has taken a huge toll on my husbands health and emotional well being. And of coarse the stress all trickles down to me as well. When he is miserable it is impossible for me to be happy and vice versa. 

Finding a new job isn't a problem. There are so many companies that need drivers and his record speaks for itself. He does prefer working for smaller companies and already has a few in mind. This isn't his problem.

 

The problem lies within. If you have given a company your all for nine years and they just don't care anymore, I imagine that is difficult to understand and deal with. He is feeling a great deal of frustration and anger as am I because of what I see that it's doing to him. I don't like it at all. And I feel as though there is nothing that I can do to help him. It has to ultimately be his decision weather or not to quit and I do believe that it's getting very close to that.

 I have always in the past with any of his endeavors,  assured him that I stand behind him no matter what his decision. Although the truth is that I feel like more of a burden on him now. He worries that if he leaves, no insurance will cover my knees and almost probable surgeries.

I told him that I didn't care, I just can't stand seeing him so miserable anymore. I have felt down many times from this debilitating pain and often times cannot walk. But I have thought about this often. I have wondered why I was stricken with this arthritis which I have in my hands, back, hips, knees and feet. I have but only one answer. I never let it get me down for long. Physically or emotionally and I believe that for whatever reason, God knows that I can handle this. I don't know if it's a test. I don't know what will eventually be in store for me, but I do know that my faith and trust in him allow me to deal with this constant pain.

 

What I do have trouble understanding and dealing with is what this "JOB" has done to my husband. He is a good man, a good provider, caring and loving. He also has lots of faith but it has been tested like never before for him.

I just want him to be happy, like he used to be. I would forgo surgery for that. Today he is going to try to speak to the company owner, if he is there while my husband is. I don't know what is going to happen but if it helps my husband feel better, I'll be waiting to get the call to come and get him.

 

I have prayed and prayed for something good to happen or even change for the better. So we shall see. It would be a little scary because of the unknown but change can also be good.

If I have learned anything at all in this life it is the fact that the only constant in life is change. So I am praying and ready.

 

Wish us well will you please? We could both use a few good nights sleep.