Thursday, July 30, 2009

" Eating Glass "

My Thrusday was filled with adventure. Strange adventure. A series of unordinary events. Quite frankly it was such an unusual day that I do not wish to embark to the madness of it all. I do feel however that there was one particular event that warrents a mention. Eating glass.

Oh don't be so dramatic, I didn't actually eat the glass but through the grace of God, I do believe that I was saved a trip to the emergency room.

Today I started back on a job that I did for three years. I cleaned house for this wonderful family. I truely loved this job as this family is a gracious and warmhearted bunch. I quit cleaning for them this past February after I had a second stroke. I'm alright but felt that it might be a good idea to lessen my work and stress load at the time.

Due to the wonderful state of our recent economy, my family is struggleing so I asked this wonderful family if they might be interested in my services again. Well apparently they missed me and were more than happy to have me back. Really they are like family to me.

So today was my first day back and I, as I had expected, had some catching up to do. I won't go into detail but needless for me to say, I was exhauseted when I came home. Everything hurt from my head to my toes. Before I came home I stopped and picked up a couple of frozen pizza's. You know I detest cooking right?

As I laid back in my recliner , Katie cooked the pizza's. Will wonders never cease? After we had our pizza. I asked Katie in my sweet, I am exhausted, I would jump in front of a train for you voice, " Honey, would you mind getting mommy a little dessert bowl of birthday cake ice cream?", " Just one scoop please. "

Yeah this is good now. I am streached out in my recliner. Get that picture in your brain. I take my glasses off. I close my eyes as I await the return of my Katie with my beautiful little cut glass bowl of my very favorite flavor of birthday cake ice cream. I know it's not really going to help the soreness that I am feeling, but I thought the sugar might be a little lift. Spiritually.

My Katie can be so sweet at times. And then she can be Linda Blair from "The exorsist " at other times. This time she was being sweet when I heard the shattering crash. Alright now I now some of you ladies have sensitive ears but I must be truthfull when I tell you what went through my head. " Oh Shit, she broke a bowl and she is going to freak out and not know what to do.". Remember people I am in great soreness here. " Oh God please let her handle this for once, I don't want to walk anymore."

About one minute goes by. " Uh mom, I broke a bowl."
Mom replies, "Well clean it up honey."
I am hearing the broom and other sounds, no more words from Katie. This is good. Maybe she is finally figureing things out on her own.

After about two minutes (To clean broken glass that shattered all over the kitchen) she sheepisly arrives in the living room with another little cut glass dessert bowl filled with one scoop of my very favorite birthday cake ice cream. " Thank You sweetheart for being so good to me today." She hands me the bowl.

Kids change quickly. It's possible that she actually was able to get all of the glass cleaned up and this is my reward. A once again clean kitchen and a nice little cut glass bowl of birthday cake ice cream. This is exactly what I need. Rest and a little sugar.

If you've never had birthday cake ice cream I will explain what it is. The base is vanilla, my favorite flavor, it has swirls of red and blue iceing with little chunks of red and blue iceing through out. These little chunks are very similar to white chocolate only colored. They melt in your mouth. To me the ice cream taste is very reminisent to cotton candy. Another favorite flavor of mine.

I dip my spoon into my pretty little cut glass bowl. I don't like big bites. So It was a small dip. Right away I noticed little chunks of red and blue iceing on my spoon. Mmmm. I already can feel it melting slowly in my mouth. I do believe my first chunk on my spoon was red. I'm pretty sure but I am quite exhaused you know. I open my mouth in anticipation. Everything seems to taste better when someone else fixes it for you. As I lay the spoon on my tounge and slowly slide it back out of my mouth, ( Is it me or is this starting to sound like soft porn?) I got a little chunk of iceing along with my ice cream . Perfect!

These little chunks sort of melt in your mouth. I was going very slowly as I wanted to savor not devour my little cut glass bowl of birthday cake ice cream. This particular chunk is not melting properly. I stop moving the muscles in my mouth. I don't know where they came from but all of a sudden I heard alarms. WARNING, WARNING, spit it out, spit it out. I reached in my mouth for what I thought was supposed to be a smooth chuck of iceing from my birthday cake ice cream and what do I discover? You got it ! A nice sized piece of glass!

I'd say it was about one carrot if it were a diamond. Too bad for me it wasn't. " Thank you Jesus, for letting me be so careful as to discover this piece of glass before I chewed and swalled it." In the meantime I can feel at least two shards of glass in my mouth. Rinse and spit. Rinse and spit. Rinse and spit. I am fine . However my mouth does feel a little raw. I did look for blood a couple of times as it felt as though it could be bleeding.

What was Katie doing you ask? She was standing right beside me with a very concerned look on her face. I told her that it wasn't her fault and that she didn't do anything wrong. Relief sweap over her face.

You know the old saying " No rest for thr wicked" ? Well call me wicked because I no longer had a taste for ice cream. We had to go into the kitchen to investigate the crime scene. I loved Columbo. Remember Columbo? Upon investigation I discovered that the little cut glass bowl dropped on the counter, not the floor. And of coarse the half gallon container of birthday cake ice cream was on the counter at the time of the dropping. We investigated the half gallon very carefully and concluded that it was not contamidated. The counter and the floor however needed several more wipings and several more sweepings.

How did the glass get into my bowl you ask? Well upon further investigation I discovered that the scoop that fell on the floor looked clean to Katie. so It was put back into the new bowl. My earlier conclusion that Katie might be starting to know what to do when something goes wrong was somewhat shot down. But she tried. And she recieved a new lesson about broken little cut glass bowls.

The morals of this story.
1. When you think that you will be able to relax, think again.
2. When you think that your young teen might finally be getting what you've been trying to teach them for the past however many years, think again.
3. If you think that you can be Columbo and figure out all of the facts, try and do it when you are not sooo exhausted.

This message was brought to you by parents trying to teach their teens how to live on their own.


Mary Ann said...

Oh my goodness. It's so great that you enjoy letting ice cream melt in your mouth! What a story.

Wanda said...

Diana...I could so clearly hear your calm sweet little voice trying to maintain it's composure...with your sore body stretched out laying there relaxing...ignoring disturbing sounds...waiting for your pretty little bowl of icecream...while your sweet young daughter is lovingly fixing you a bowl of crushed glass!
You are too could write for Hollywood Diana!
Thanks for the laugh!

Eileen said...

Well, thank goodness you were in a savoring mood and not a ravenous mood!
Oh, Diana, I know it's not funny, but you had me in hysterics as usual!
Thank goodness no food or drink anywhere near me when I read the 'porn' line!
You are too much! And thank you bringing a smile to my face on this dismal, once again rainy morning! I know you like the rain, I'm not such a fan, although it kind of matches my mood today!
Great story, Di! Now tell us about the rest of the day!
Love you, E

Maria said...

Good Morning Diana!
I've been wondering when a new Erma Bombeck would step forward!
I think we found her ;o)
Here's an Erma quote:
"All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them."

Was the ice cream Edy's? I love that brand of ice cream!
All the Best to you ~ Maria

Teresa said...

OMG! I hung on every word of your story, I was so intriqued, and wondering how glass got in your bowl! I can so relate to your soreness, as last night when I came home from working at Walmart, all I could do was sit in my recliner too, I didn't eat anything for dinner, because I couldn't move to make it, and I have not taught Molly how to fetch me dinner. (Now that will be a trick). I am sorry for your exhaustion and pain, as I am for my own, and all I have to say is "This really sucks"! So glad you were saved from eating glass my dear friend...we are going to take that Roller Coaster Ride yet, or maybe we are already on it...I feel that way sometimes.

Barb said...

Hi Diana,
First of all, I see you found the larger type on the new/old computer - great for my ancient eyes! Second, the quote is "No rest for the weary...not the wicked..." You were weary but NEVER are you wicked (except for wicked funny!). Thirdly, that birthday cake ice cream must go - just on principal, not because I think it sounds yucky. Actually, I love that Katie just picked up the scoop on the floor and served it - don't we all feel like doing that sometimes? Glad you didn't have a shard stuck in your throat. It makes a great funny story (after the fact).

Bernie said...

Good Morning my friend, what a story you have shared this morning, sorry but I did chuckle and could visulize every second of you eating your ice cream cake...God love Katy, she is so trying to please you and her love shows through every time. I do hope you are not quite so sore this morning Diana and I am so glad to be back and read all about your day and your daughter. Love and missed you my friend...:-) Hugs

Blessings each day said...

Thank the Good Lord that you were inspired by the Holy Spirit to stop and to check it out. When you started talking about a red chunk I got scared and thought it was blood!

At least you did some good relaxation techniques before the excitement!

You MAY need to go back to the potty mouth post of long go my blog, I noticed a less than favorable word on this post.

That is so kid-like (and a little creepy)to scoop up the ice cream off the floor...that gave me a chuckle! My oldest daughter used to sometimes bake home made cookies and would drop a few when she was in a hurry...she always saved those treasures for her brother and sister!

Jackie said to tell everyone she can't get online today (check my comments pls).

blessings and hugs,


Eileen said...

Wait! Wait! She didn't scoop it off the floor, right?
It broke on the counter, no?

Okay, and about the birthday ice cream cake. That's the name of the cake? Or are we celebrating YOUR BIRTHDAY? I don't know why it took me half the day to think to ask you that! Sorry!

Talk to you later.
Love you, E

Diana said...

Hi Mary Ann,
Yes I am very glad that I didn't bite the ice cream!

Hello Wanda,
These moments are always funnier after the fact!

Hi Eileen,
Iwas corrected by Katie, she picked up the ice cream off of the counter but she didn't see any broken glass there. But the bowl hit the counter first! And no it's not my birthday until nexy year. The ice cream is a flavor and it's called birthday cake ice cream. Some brands call it birthday party ice cream.

Hi Maria,
Thank you for the nice compliment, it was funny after the fact! The ice cream brand was Prarie Farms.

Hi Teresa,
I hope your soreness has started to ease. I am still sore today but not as much. I went and worked out this morning hoping it would help but it didn't! When things get better teresa, you need to bring home something microwavable for after work as I don't think Molly is going to help you there!

Hello Barb,
Yes I did manage to get the font larger but it doesn't always work. This computer is older and has some personnal issues of it's own. But it works, so far! The tiny font drives me insane too. Maybe it will stay larger this time. It just keeps reverting back to small. Also I cannot choose a format, it just lets me use what it wants!

Welcome Home Bernie, It is so nice to have you back in the fold and I can't wait to read about your trip. I've been busy today and haven't had time to visit anyone just yet, but I'll get to it. And you are right about Katie, she has been trying very hard lately and is very anxious for school to start. She's counting the day's!

Hi Marcy,
Sorry about the potty mouth but that is what went through my head at the time and you wouldn't want me to lie now would you? I'm sorry that I haven't had time to visit anyones post today but we have been running around all day! Now I have to go start some dinner but I will go to your post a little later!
And no the ice cream was not off of the floor. I thought it was but Katie said that she scooped it off of the counter, not that it would matter after it was in the bowl that broke! I'd rather eat it off of the floor then do the glass thing again!

Terrie said...

Holy cow! I am so glad that you really took the time to savor those tiny tasty morsels but it sort of reminds me of a time that I had a tantrum and threw a corell plate and it shattered all over. A year later when we moved, I found shards in the cupboard above the refrigerator, no where near where I threw the plate so be careful of that left over ice cream! :)

Anonymous said...

OK....I'm off line for one day, and you are eating glass....sigh.
I didn't skip a word, because I knew....I just knew in my heart that this was going to turn out OK. A well-written story....a 'page turner'....and a heart-stopper for me, Diana.
I am so glad that things turned out well for you. If you had been an ice-cream-snarfer like me, you would have been at the E.R. I'm glad you take dainty little bites.... Thank goodness you are OK. Take care of you.....
Smiles and hugs from Jackie

Linda Higgins said...

OH MY GOSH! thank goodness ERMA that you didn't swallow! Kids, LOL that is horrible, why am I laughing! Why do I think this is funny? It is because of the way you wrote it! you had better take it easy and not over do it cleaning house! That is the most exhausting work. I did it too for many years!

Diana said...

Hi Terrie,
Thanks for the advice. We have looked over the ice cream again and it seemed find. I am being very, very cautious!

Hi Jackie,
See what happens when the teacher takes a day off?

Hi Linda,
It's o.k. to laugh because everything is alright! I am trying to slow down with the cleaning this time. Really wish I didn't have to do it again but at least they are pretty neat people.

Stillness Speaks said...

I am SO relieved to know you didn't try too hard to chew the stuff that wouldn't melt in the mouth!! This sure was a scary escape! I am sure your daughter was as horrified to know what happened as you, and that she will learn and never repeat something like this in the future!

At the cost of sounding repetitive, I would tell you one more time to not over work yourself. Health is the number one priority and everything else comes in later. Eat good healthy food after so much of physical labor and take good care of yourself. Loads of love :)

Diana said...

Hi Stillness,
You are right about Katie. I don't know if I would say her look was horrified but I can tell you that I have rarely seen her look so seriously concerned about something in a long, long time!
Thank you for being concerned Stillness. I am trying to take it easy but it is Saturday and I still feel worn out from Thursday. Hopefully it will get better.

Anonymous said...

Just see what you've been eating today.
Smiles from Jackie

Rebecca. Harlan, IN said...

Everyone else has said what CAN be said. I'm sure you really ARE grateful that it didn't end up worse. If there is ANY way you can pace yourself in your new job, PLEASE do so! I am praying that God will supply all your family's needs and keep you healthy in the process!

Diana said...

Hi Rebecca,
I am definetly pacing myself, I used to try and hurry. I actually had to sit a few times this time, but it's just the catching up work. after the next week it shouldn't be as bad.

Jerelene said...

Diana, this post made me smile!! Don't teenagers just never cease to amaze you? I feel for you..everytime I try to sit down it never fails that there is some kind of crisis...everytime!
I've had birthday cake ice-cream and it's very good! But I like mine without glass :)
You work too hard you poor thing!!
Love, Jerelene