" Flashback "

I was on the phone with my daughter-in-law this evening . We talked about my grandchildren mostly . Our normal catching up on the weeks activities . My son and his wife's anniversary is coming up . On October 13 Th , they will be married for eight years. We talked for about twenty minutes and then said our good byes.

I love my daughter-in-law , Amy. She IS one of my daughters . She is a wonderful , sweet , loving , kind , faithful and beautiful young woman . Our family was blessed when she married my son .

After we had hung up the phone I remembered something . It is strange sometimes how we forget things . Names , dates , places . Even monumental moments . I for one have a very poor memory . I always have . But tonight , after we got off of the phone I remembered something . A date , a memory forgotten .

Strange that I had forgotten this date as in my life it was quite monumental . I am where I am now in this life of mine because of this date in time . The conversation with my daughter-in-law about their anniversary brought it all back .

October 8 th , 1977 .
That was the day that I married Frank, my son and Ginny, my daughters father .
Oh what a tumultuous time in our lives that was . The story of our relationship would take up far too much time for me to tell you now . I could write a book about it .

In a nutshell it is what ultimately taught me that everything happens for a reason . We were married for twelve years before we were divorced and were together for seventeen years total . I met him when I was fourteen years old . That is when my life changed drastically . I cannot in good conscious say that my life would have been better had I not met him . No I cannot .

While he lead me down roads that you would not want your child to go down , I gave birth to two amazing human beings because of him . I am so proud of my son , Frank. I don't mention him often because he is a quite man . He is a good man . And a good father . I am proud of my daughter Ginny . She is a good woman . And they are both extremely hard workers .

So I am grateful to my ex-husband for these lovely human beings that contribute to the world everyday .

I know that he loved me . I did love him too . But he was not my soul mate .
He passed away at the age of 36 . He drank so heavily that he ultimately bled to death internally .

I had left him six months before his death . Even though I knew in my heart that things were not right I stayed and stayed . I went to A.A. to learn how to deal with his alcoholism . That is what gave me the strength to say goodbye . That and my eleven year old son coming to me one night and saying " Mom, I can't take this anymore . "

I didn't want to give up on my vows . I am a very good friend . I will stay through thick and thin . But when my child hurts or suffers I have to give up .

It was a sad death . It was a loss . It was a shame . It was a tragedy . Someday I will tell you more . But for now , you must know the lesson that was the most important thing that came from this story of mine .

Everything that we do has a consequence . Everything that happens to us affects other people . Everything , everything happens for a reason .

To every season .